Knows It All

Three Years used to seem like a long time

2012-01-03T18:31:00.000-08:00

Wow, it must be the New Year that drives me to post. I havent posted since the beginning of 2009. I've been kinda busy.

Right after that Christmas in 2008, I found out I was pregnant. It was a big adjustment. Miss Olivia Lynn joined our team in August 2009. She is simply awesome. And now, in January 2012, I am five months pregnant with our second baby girl. At 37, I am really grateful we finally entered this parenting game. Come May, we hope to have baby Lola safe and sound here at home with us.

We are in a new home. Turns out our little historical home in Central Phoenix was a bust. We ended up underwater, like everyone who bought in the housing bubble, and had to let it go. we got lucky and got a bigger nice home with a pool in Biltmore area. Ive been fixing it up to be exactly how I want it.

Its funny, in 2009, the things that consumed me. Surely not worrying about whether or not I was a bad mom because my two year and four month old still uses apacifier when she goes to bed. I didnt feel pains in my heart everyday as I drove off to work after leaving my child at the safe and wonderful daycare she goes too. Im pretty sure my idea of a perfect day wasnt getting manis/pedis with my curly topped chatterbox, and having a picnic in the grass singing "The more we get together".

Its really a cliche I know, but Im glad its mine to know. And so do all of my friends. Everyone has their babies, two or three... its good times.

Today I accepted a new job, after seven years as the Chief Pros. I'll be more directly working in Child abuse, and feel that its truly my calling. I am excited for the change. And its just right next door and with the same tribe, so all is going well there.

I have lots of things to write about. Like why Facebook can never feel like blogging. And why i miss my grandparents. And why I get so nervous to let people I love and respect know about my atheist tendencies. Why is that like a dirty little secret? its not catholic guilt... and my constant inability to understand mothers who abandon their children for men.

So here I am, knowing a whole lot more...signing off so i can hush my toddler and her singing tea pot so as not to wake her dad. She said "see you tomorrow Dad!" as she helped her self to an ice cream cup out of the freezer. hopefully this blogging thing will find me again, especailly as i move into a less stressful job.

Another year

2009-01-01T07:23:00.000-08:00

Today starts 2009! I'm so happy it will begin with four whole days off work. I need to start out my work year next week refreshed and rejuvenated. Lots to accomplish and not feeling motivated about it.

We celebrated the end of 2008 with the Reddys. We had only seen them once since little Drew was born. What a gorgeous little boy! Suri is the cutest dad. We went to Indian food, and were fast asleep by 10 pm. Thats perfect.

Our Christmas in Oregon was amazing, and we got to have a great time with family. Justin and Miry and Garrett and Jami came out for a night at Edgefield, even with all the snow. A very nice time, never enough time though. Christmas Tea at the Heathman was a highlight too. Just me, Mom and Bren.

This past year was really good. I can't complain. Good travels, good friends, good health...cant ask for more. Change has been good for so many of our close friends. Many welcomed babies this year, and its so nice to see all the happy little families. Having Wy in our family made Christmas all the more special. He's just too cute and fun. Of course, there has been some unfortunate events, primarily with the economy laying a smackdown on everyone. A few people losing jobs, and thats awful. Hopefully, things will turn around this year!

My dad was able to come and visit for ten days. It was nice. He is still dad, with his random acts of crazy, but he made us yummy dinners and helped me with a Christmas party. He seems good. I miss him.

We are training for the half marathon again. Not as devoted to the training as I would like to be. But its coming along. Wish us luck! less than three weeks to 13.1!

Im currently in the process of finishing decorating my bedrooms. New paint, etc. New closets coming. Im slow about it, but I really like making my house my own. I adore my little house on 8th street. It survived some big winds this year.

In 2009, I am hoping to have many new experiences with the people I love. El G and I are looking to plan some more travel. Im tempted to return to Paris, I am intrigued by Argentina, and I can always be talked into a few days in Mexico. We need a NYC weekend as well. And then some short trips to the PNW. we will see new babies from some close friends this year, and are expecting some visits from some of our missed friends.

I wish all of you a very happy new year and may your 2009 bring your joy, luck, and happiness.

Will you still love me? Will you still need me...when I'm...

2008-07-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

THIRTY FOUR! Holy crap.

Its been forever and a day since I have posted. And the sad excuse is literally a lack of time. And a Facebook addiction. I love Facebook though, since all of my relatives are online there and its really nice to keep in touch with all of them that way. But it has taken away from my need to blog. Also, we had a serious problem with our home computer, but now we have a new MacBook, and life is much improved. (although, I don't recommend eating cherries with a white MacBook) For months, my internet access was limited to the five minutes I could jump on at work, and my blackberry. But with Lu and Mandy blogging, I'm back to checking theirs, so here I am.

Tomorrow is my 34th birthday, so Birthday week is in full effect. My mom shipped me a box of fabulous fresh cherries. How awesome is that! Friday night, we had dinner with Suri and his very-pregnant wife at Havana Cafe, one of my favorites. It was nice to see them, since with Suri, sometimes a lot of time can pass between visits. But I think that's completely okay, and it takes time for a new spouse to gain trust with old friends. She has been great, and I think Suri is so lucky to have her. A baby in less than three weeks for them too! Such a different Suri than the one I met and came to love six years ago. Years FLY by. I mean, it amazes me.

Yesterday, I was co-hostess of a baby shower for another pregnant friend. Doreen is due in three weeks as well. It was a co-ed pool party, but very casual. I found it super comfortable and relaxing. Doreens husband is still "new" to me, but her family has been so welcoming and inclusive to me since I came to arizona ten years ago. I love Indian people. I love feeling like their house is my house, and not just in that polite "that's what people say" way. I can never really put it into words, but it just is, and it makes sense to me. Her nephew Aidan is the squishiest baby ever, and so easy-going. Anyway, it was a good time and I'm so glad that i got to share in it. Its weird when so many people I love and adore are so far away, and when we all have such limited time, I want to remember to appreciate the good times I am apart of.

Today is brunch with El G. We discovered that we have not really ever had brunch together. So we are headed to Lon's. I'm going to be traveling a lot in the next few weeks, so today should be nice. I'm headed home to Brewfest Thursday, and then to Baltimore/DC next week for work and to visit with Ali and Mandy (and Everett!!!) This month, I've already been to Laughlin (worst place on earth) and LA to visit the in-laws. Its just a lot of travel this summer.

I'm excited to go home though. I'm dying to see Wyatt. Need to look in on pops. Anyway, in addition to being really busy at work, I'm also still trying to run and Bikram Yoga. I am quite the miserable one without my yoga. El G and I took a nice trip to Cabo last month. So we are working at enjoying time when we can. Have I mentioned how great of a lawyer he is? I continue to be so impressed with that guy.

Gosh, having not blogged in forever, there's a million things I feel like writing about. But, Brunch beckons. Can I just say, turning 34 makes me feel a little weird about my whole life plan? Yep. I hate that stupid clock.

I'm paying you for this????

2007-12-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

So I know that the majority of my readers are in places much colder, wetter, and more miserable than what I have as a cold winter. (and by the majority of my readers, I mean the 4 of the 6 of you that are in Oregon, DC, and Colorado). But just because its Phoenix does not mean its warm in December. The highs are low 60s, but the nights are very chilly. Not anything to moan about unless of course you live in a non-energy efficient house that has cracks, gaps, and holes all over. Drafty is the best way to describe it. Which is why in the peak summer months the electric bill for my tiny little box of a home ranges from $200 to $300 a month.
So somewhere around Halloween, we decided the heat should be turned on in the morning or the evening, only to discover that the damn heat side of the unit isn't working. So today is Dec 15 and I've been living a snowman lifestyle. Admittedly, I'm not home much, but it freakin' cold in this place. Currently blogging along at a balmy 56 degrees in my house. The heating people are coming today. I hope they fix it as quickly as the electric guy handled my whole "lights out" problem. (Wednesday the electric went out in my kitchen, living room. And not that I need to cook or anything.. but relocating my toaster and coffee pot to the spare bedroom was just not very "adult" feeling, and felt like dorm life. besides, we missed tv and the Christmas tree needed lights) We had been outside and flipped all the fuses again and again to no avail. Although there was ONE that seemed flimsy and wouldn't catch. Duh! So we had to call a retired superhero from "Supercharged" Electric. It was amazing what he can do for only $55. He flips fuses, with apparently magic skill, and ta-da! Lights. Yes, my husband and I are morons. So when the heating dude shows up today, I'm pretty sure he's gonna find an equally simple issue. Pilot light? What's that? You know what heater dude? It really doesn't matter, just help a sister get some heat. I'm not very fun when I'm cold. and here's your $50. I'm tired of sleeping in layers and layers. The chimney guy is coming today too. We have never made a fire in our cool fireplace. Not only are we not really sure how to go about that, we aren't sure our chimney is clean or safe. We thought we should check. My dad was really annoyed at me for that. He indicated that fire-making is a primitive skill that two educated lawyers should be able to figure out. Well, he would be wrong. And it's expensive to be stupid. So there!

In addition to my troubles in keeping warm this month, I've had some other crosses to bear. I've been in the dental chair for an unprecedented amount of time. I mean, Four and a Half hours of straight work in one session, and two other sessions in the same month. It's been pretty horrible. On my last visit, I survived the chair only to get into the worst encounter with the office manager. She is one sadistic soul. As I'm swollen and bleeding and on the verge of tears and passing out, the woman demanded every dollar in my purse. I wish I was I kidding. I wish I wasn't convinced that she thought I was gonna skip out on the bill. But she wasn't going to let me leave the building until she recieved "my portion" of the payment not covered by insurance that instant. Which would have been FINE if she hadn't told me before the service it was $75.00. So when I advised that I only had $115.00 on me, and could call her from home with my credit card or could swing back by on my way to work in the morning for the remaining $100.00, and she freaked out and asked me what my problem was and why were these simple rules beyond comprehension for me, I was a little offended. She proceeded to explain that so often people fail to pay, that this is a clear policy. I reminded her that I was coming back to finish some work, so obviously that payment would not be an issue, besides the fact that I had already paid a ton of money, and simply was misinformed as to my estimate for the day, I was shocked when she implied I could not leave. Now, I'm proud of the strides I've made in leaving my instant ghetto attitude doesn't always rise up anymore. However, this woman really really challenged me. Unfortunately I know have to find a new dentist in the middle of a complicated treatment plan. All because of some miserable moron, who chose to go a little ape over nothing! It was kinda fun to fire her. The final straw was when she whispered to the dentist, in a complete non-discreet way, that the problem was a "financial issue". Of course, it absolutely was not. Mind you, I have had issues with being able to pay for dental care in my life. Thankfully I don't anymore! So for her to imply that was so offensive. I have to say I suspect that she had some beliefs about me based on my insurance. It happens to be from the reservation/tribe I work for, and this dentist is right near the rez, so a lot of people go to that dentist from the rez. I think that maybe some of them may have had payment issues so now she thinks all of us do! She was really weird about it. She also treated EL G like he couldn't speak English. Seriously, the woman was whack. Anyway...I'm looking for a new dentist.

I'm also hunting a new gyno. I had switched when the place I had gone for 4 years couldn't get me in for an annual for 8 - 10 months and that was on a waiting list. What a joke! So I chose a new one. My first concern was when they sent me the pre-packet for new patients it included an "Arbitration Agreement". Ummm... does that cause anyone concern? Meaning, if they jack me up and commit some form of malpractice, I elect not to sue them outright, but settle via a mediator. (Ok, not exactly, but close enough) I didn't sign it and I asked about it when I got there. I was informed it's not mandatory until I undergo any elective service. (????) That's shady because as an attorney I knew to ask. I'm guessing a lot of people don't and they therefore agree to this for all their treatment and then realize how hosed they are after they get jacked up and see an attorney. So what is elective? This Dr does all kinds of stuff to your vag if you want it. Plastic surgery to make it look nicer, lipo down there, re-attaching your hymen (I'm so not kidding) and permanent stoppage of your period via a laser that burns up a part of you. SO MIDDLE AGES TORTURE WITH LASERS! It kinda scared me. But you know what, I guess ugly vaginas need service somewhere. Who knew? Ok, the real reason I need a new one. During my exam, I was advised that I may have a brain tumor. !!!! Simple refresher course on anatomy people: your brain and your vagina are really not that near one another. So sticking a long cotton swab up a person's privates is not gonna really identify a brain tumor. Yet, this doc thinks she can. (ok, so she thinks that a tumor on the thyroid can cause certain issues that maybe can be identified in a vaginal exam...but still!) I've had this recurring non-serious issue for my whole life. People's bodies are different. I've been tested for a million things back in the day. No one has ever suggested a brain tumor. And I'm not going to let this hymen-sewing weirdo freak me out. Just keep to your vaginal beautification and leave the brain concerns to the brain docs. Right? Sheesh. (Ok, so what if I still went and got the blood test ....it couldn't hurt right? Not that I'm staying with Dr. Arbitration anyway!) I'm pretty sure I don't have the tumor, as no one has called and referred me to a neurosurgeon.
In addition, when I described a few months of abnormal symptoms of my cycle, such as such pain so bad I thought I was going to need to go to ER and barely being able to breathe... the caring doc made an annoyed face like I was an idiot, and said "well, why didn't you take something?...like Advil?" Oh really? I never thought of that! I'm a complete moron. Are you kidding me? Why did you ask me if my periods were normal? what was the appropriate answer from someone with a brain tumor? anyway, i love doctors.

Anyway, I've spent a lot of money this month and been put through a lot of pain and humiliation. I also have been on a round of antibiotics which prevented me from being able to partake in the sweet nectar of life, wine. For 9 days! And I so so needed it. But today, I have a license to indulge. Headed to a house party with good friends and a round of the Newlywed Game. Knows It All has some steam to let loose. Thanks for letting me vent.

Like a Record Baby

2007-12-05T18:43:00.000-08:00

I've been spinning around and around lately. Never seem to be able to take the time and fire up this here computer box thing. I refuse to whine about work...just know it's busy. I feel like a I work way more than I used to. Other than that, there was the whole travel thing. Planning for Europe, getting work ready for the leave, coming back, coming back from vacation...etc. etc. It was tough. Then there was the trip of course! which was the best 13 consecutive days of my life! XOXO to Paris! Eleven days not thinking about work. It was like I had a new life. Eating great food, drinking wine, wandering around.. the whole experience was amazing. I am committed to doing that every other year.
So this fall was all Europe trip planning and the arrival of baby Wyatt! He is the best little nephew one could ask for. Baby sis is kicking butt as a mom and her and the little family are too sweet. I'm so stinking proud of them! We got to see them over Thanksgiving, and it wasn't enough time, but just enough to make me miss them even more!
El G and i are in training again for another half marathon. Which means running three nights a week and long runs on Sunday. So... that eats up so much of my little free time! I ve been sick twice in the last two months too.. so the free time thing has just been non-existent. Holiday season now, so we have a few parties and all that stuff... and then it will be our second anniversary and 2008 already! So many things to look forward to next year, including baby Scandlen and Pastor. Its so amazing how my circle of friends just multiplies! Its so cool. and I swear the DP club makes some beautiful mommies! Seriously, those chics are some seriously beautiful moms.
Laid Back and her man finally tied the knot last month... good times. I'm sure there will be mini-Souccars any time.
Secret Agent Man dad is visiting for two weeks at the end of the month and I can't wait. I miss him to pieces right now.
Wow... I miss blogging. I miss just writing down thoughts. I need to take time to do this a little more. But right now, my naked Christmas tree beckons. and a fevery husband...I knew it was too quiet around here!

Sometimes my brain scares me

2007-09-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

For all the simple things it fails to remember or is unable to process, yes. But what really scares me is that part of my brain that seems to KNOW things that I don't understand how I could know. I'm not in any way psychic, but there are so many instances of where I think something and then...out of nowhere that thing turns out to be.

Like just the other day, I had a dream about a high school friend. In that dream, her and her older brother and I were hanging out doing simple stuff teenagers do. I used to spend a good deal of time with that family. I don't have the time or opportunity to talk to any of them much anymore, but it was a very intense dream, though nothing too much was happening. And then, the next day, she emails me, which is rare.

And last night, I had this random thought of a girl. A friend of a friend. I had been talking to El G about how I was once really offended when Dirtiest Man Alive said that but for me landingEl G, me and this skank are really not that far apart. Seriously, she's the biggest skank pathetic loser I currently know, and i have no idea what he could see in me that is anything close to her. Aside from age, dark hair, and the same career. Anyway, I digress. So skank came up in lunch talks yesterday. I remembered Dirtiest Man Alive's comment, and it made me think of another girl (not SKANK but another skank-type) have a similar friendship skank-type has with someone I'm friends with. I never think of her. EVER. And I started thinking of her for a while today and about how she and I have had similar experiences with a shared friend. I hope my experiences are not as simple as hers were, but I guess a part of me worries that i am as forgettable as she is. So then today, I see that out of nowhere she comes forward. Random since no one that I know of has heard from her in months, and then there she is. Just as I was thinking of her. I know this makes no sense, but it was like some part of me knew that the question I was asking myself needed to be answered. And so it is. So it causes me to reflect on my value. Don't try to understand this post. I don't even understand it.

So see? I'm not convinced that I can predict things. Sometimes I dream things about people who happen to be thinking of me, and then I'll hear from them. Or I dream of my friends or family and it will make me call them only to discover that they need a friend or some help. This stuff happens all the time. Not significant stuff. No Nostradamus level of stuff. Maybe I just need practice.

OK-- I think I need a nap. I'm not making any sense. ;)
But I'm back online. No promises. I've been crazy busy and have no time these days. But I do miss writing.

9 days to Europe.

Can you blame me for having the blues?

2007-06-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

Indiana really did it. She really went to DC. I can't read her card, I don't want to cry.

Foxxxy has been gone forever! She's still not home and the rez is one lonely place.

Im too lazy to go get my car fixed after I backed it into the construction guys truck across the street. It's so REZ now.

I've had way too little sleep since Saturday. Parties, airports, work calls, working from home, and all kinds of stress... so I am being pouty in the worst way. I'm such a child when I'm tired.

Been slacking on the gym big time this week. BAD BAD BAD.

I had to move out of the resort that I have been crashing lately. I love the pool and pool service. It was SO SO good to be there.

What will cheer me up?
Dinner with Sur-dizzle this week(alone...no El G and No Wifey so I can get him to talk!) , Lunch with Do, Dinner with the girls for C's birthday, going to the gym a lot, and planning more of the Europe trip. (tickets bought, just need rooms and itinerary details) Tammie Coe cupcake on demand. Only one month till the Portland trip. baby Leslie turns one this weekend. AND...the word is Brother In Law is moving out at the end of July.

OK, I think I just cheered myself up. I'm honestly just exhausted. I have NOTHING to be sad or blue about really. Just Indiana moving, but really...all else is good, right?

The Groom

2007-06-05T16:40:00.000-07:00

Love him to pieces!

Nana and me in 2007

2007-06-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

She's 92! Love her pearls and her makeup.

At the reception

2007-06-05T16:38:00.000-07:00

Me and my date to Suri's wedding.. guess which one?
lol!

The Girls of Calgary

2007-06-05T16:36:00.000-07:00

Hostess Katherine, ME, Ashley, Traci, Sarah, Carol and Jodi.

Canada Trip Pics

2007-06-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

This is my Great-Aunt Carol and I at Bow Falls, in Banff Alberta. A gorgeous day.

Its getting hot in here..

2007-05-06T16:14:00.000-07:00

Or warm anyway, as our friends and family have warmed up our home. Last weekend, we hosted our first official gathering at our tiny house. Fifty attendees in that little abode was quite the feat.

First, Brother in Law, who had recieved fabulous news that he has passed the bar on Friday, was a little bit resistant to the idea of having "his" room included at the party. He actually wanted to know why he couldn't just keep the door closed. Other than the fact that he is a twenty-six year old grown man living with us, enjoying the fruits of a cleaning service, i just did not see why he could not manage to clear out his garbage, put away his laundry, and make the bed. He begrudgingy complied. After the guests cleared and he, a bit intoxicated, departed for what must have been a booty-call, I layed on MY bed that is located in that room, with my clean bedding and just thought about what my future guest room will be like. Look, I love the man.. but he is a man, and MAN, I think it's time to leave the nest. He's not a bad roommate. I should just stop on this issue right now...i think his residency status will change by the end of summer. I think my new hobby of sunbathing topless in my backyard may be the final straw.

Speaking of things to creep out my BIL. THis party was not one in which we expected any gifts whatsoever! We did however recieve about 15 bottles of wine, 4 bottles of tequila, some shot glasses, a pinata, a huge sweetbread, a candle, and a bunch of feminine hygiene products. Yes, I recieved multiple boxes of douche, feminine wipes, FDS spray, and a spatula and a plunger. Explanation escapes me, other than to say, Indians have a different sense of humor. And I am no different. Or maybe it was a long overdue intervention. Anyway, I'm so fresh and so clean these days. I think I'm shiny.

For the party, we hired some people El G knows to prepare carne asada. It was awesome. I think I need a cook on staff! My father in law made some amazing guacamole and it was a hit. I ordered some cookies that look like houses with my house number on them, and that was as Martha as I could bear. I also made a batch of sangria, only to be out-shown by miss Tiffani, who showed up with some sangria of her own that was so good. she cheated and used champagne. I threw her out. People stayed for the De La Hoya fight and it was a good time. my mom was there, El G's fam was up from Nogales. And so many friends and even my funky neighbor. Babies were even in the mix... i really had a good time. I love that I ended the night in the old school way with me and LaidBack going to bed!

although some of my most importants were unable to be there, i have been feeling so lucky and blessed since it was a chance to have so many people we love in the house. Cant wait for the next reason to have some more events! i may need mom to come back and work her a lot more. Poor thing was in town for a few days before the party and she had to do so much! Moms rule. especially mine. Even if she talks about me as a baby a little more than I'd hope for.

I love that people say we look alike or that I am like her. If I am anything like my sweet and precious little mom, then that cant' be bad. Someome said I will age well with genes like hers and thats so nice! She is one pretty girl. And that EL G aint bad either.
Im having trouble loading pics on to blogger these days, or I'd put one of them up here. very cute!

TICK TOCK

2007-05-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

I am dying for another girls trip already. I missed out on the latest roadtrip across the SW.

I was reading the post from the April 05 trip to Miami. When we hitting the road DP club?

Foxxxy, me you and DOREEN must behave badly before she greyhounds it outta here.

Let's go where I can't be recognized and my employees aren't with us!

And now I know...

2007-05-02T19:53:00.000-07:00

that next September, my baby sis will be a proud mother to a baby boy!
So stinking excited!

Return to the Sender

2007-04-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

That's what I am doing with the next wedding invitation I get. Sending right on back to the lucky couple, because, all good intentions aside, I am not a good wedding guest. And weddings are a beautiful event and may be the most special day of their lives, so assholes like myself, should not be included.

I know you invite me because we are friends. And I love you to pieces. But here's the thing: I cannot control myself around an open bar. I thought I could, but I now know otherwise. In days past, I have blamed my behaviors on a lot of stress or too much travel, but it seems to be much simpler than that. I drink too much damn wine at weddings and act a fool. Surprise!

And there have been a lot of weddings in the last year. I have behaved better at some, but have not managed to attend one single wedding without a list of "I can't believe I said that" moments.
Yesterday, my super sweet friend SirDizzle got married. His bride is the sweetest little thing ever. I think she is what one would refer to as a Southern Belle. They had a morning ceremony at the Royal Palms, and a brunch. Oh, and an open bar. I thought this would not be a big deal, since it's before noon and all, and I do have some limits. So I thought "how can I get into trouble with a mimosa?" And then it began.

Mocking speeches, getting other guests to look down my dress, spitting out cake, slurring my undying love to the groom's parents who now think I am the jilted ex, and all this by 1pm. I'm so classy. Crashed out asleep by 3 pm. What??

Friday night, FOXXY said to me, "Can't you just say no to one wedding?" Of course, she said that in front of the ONE person who I actually did say no to only last week and have been feeling like shit over, but I digress. The answer to that question is: I'm saying no to as many weddings as I can. My friends will thank me later.

Except of course for the Canadian excursion, Part II of the above wedding, with a Hindu Ceremony, me in a sari, with my hands painted, in only a few weeks. THAT, I am doing. I do PLAN on sobriety. And I really have to stick to that, since the sister to the groom is after my husband, big time and the last thing my drunk self needs to do is to convince myself that I need to do something about that. Hilarious.

But yes, the wedding was beautiful. Royal Palms is one beautiful place. I cried when he told his family he loved them. It was a nice day, and I don't think any of my antics were noted or had any effect beyond my own table...but still..I'm so out.

Somewhere between really good and not so bad

2007-04-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

Its been way too long since I have been able to sit down and write... and I dont have the time now.. but here's a list of things I'm happy about and things I'm not so happy about.

Happy
Fat Raise
House is finally starting to come together
Saw Prince in Vegas Saturday
Bikram Yoga
I'm almost completely off carbonation... still caffeinating, but not nearly as much
Mom's coming to town in one week
Kid sis will find out if I'm getting a niece or a nephew TUESDAY
My new gas grill is awesome and I don't have to work it
got to see East Coast recently and it was about damn time (She's a DP CLub member)
Got to see a lot of old friends in Albuquerque last week.. and that trip never disappoints
Getting a massage Friday
Golfing again
Seventeen days till my nexy Harry Connick encounter
Going to Canada next month to a cool wedding and see my family
I can afford a housecleaner and a yard guy... thank god!
I "have a beautiful mind and body built for two" (how can I not be happy about that?)

Not So Happy
Still have a roof leak and that deserves a blog post of its own
Not seeing sis go through this time
Havent seen Dad since Christmas
Something's all jacked with my left eye
I think the neighborhood cat got assassinated (big gobs of his fur all over my yard and he's been MIA for two weeks)
Didnt get to wear THE belt in Vegas
Indiana is probably moving to DC
I do not have a pool and am so float deprived
Had to pay taxes
have to go to ORLANDO next month
My housecleaner sucks and i want to fire her
Im fucking old
Theres never enough time for anything.

So there. Until later---

A little late....

2007-03-15T18:58:00.001-07:00

http://http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/15/disney.newprincess.ap/index.htmlI just hope they do better than they did with Pocahontas.

Do Not Disturb Time Over

2007-02-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

I've been working way too much lately. It kinda scares me. It goes against my nature.

But I'm hoping it will slow down soon enough. Tired of weekend work, evening work, and answering emails at every stoplight. (yes, I blackberry and drive..I'm a bad person).

I'm not watching any of my shows. I'm perfroming horribly at happy hours. Shopping time is way down. Not talking to my friends, my parents, or anyone enough. My life consists of the rez, the gym, and my bed. Babies are being born, good friends are getting engaged and having mini-breakdowns, or huge breakups, and I'm just working right through it. It makes me feel really bad.. so then I take it out at work.

So Im not working this weekend. Unless I get a call. But Im going to see my mom and grandpa who are in town, eat well, drink plenty, get some spa stuff, see the newest baby.. and maybe even lounge around a bit. I need it.

I'm just really irritated this morning over Citysearch. where is it? Why is DC the only f'ing town that you can look up now? So annoying. I have my old reliables dammit. Headed to Bay Area for a week next week, to hang out, go to a conference, see some friends, and the best part of all... Baby Sis! havent seen her mug since JULY!!! Miss her to bits.

What was is what was

2007-01-28T16:50:00.000-08:00

There was a post here.
Randomly and meekly today, he asked if there might be.
I said "Maybe".
He asked that it not be.

And so i give.

It was real, and I meant it. In cluding the part where I said Im lucky to have him, but still want to punch him.

Hmmm

She's Like the Wind....

2007-01-14T15:32:00.000-08:00

Or not!!! This morning, El G and I ran our first Half-Marathon! I'm not going to pretend like we set any records, but it really wasn't as hard as I expected. Today happened to be one of the coldest day I have ever known in Phoenix, and that was the hardest part. I had to run with a hoodie on. Seriously, it was below freezing!!

29 Degrees!!!!

Official results are not in yet. I'll update later with that. I think we made it in under 2.5 hours. To be fair, my hubs could have done it much faster, but he paced with me and we didn't walk once! He had a few potty breaks which added to our time, but we thought I would have walked some, but I never did! I slowed when I ate a weird gel packet thing....but other than that...I chugged along.

This from the same sucka who was in top form two nights ago at Gordon Biersch. It's so fun being me. Last night was the shower for the new little bean and I think it turned out well. We had to leave early, I didn't feel very good and we needed sleep.
Mom looked amazing!!!

Anyway, celebratory anniversary dinner tonite! Thanks to mom for the gift! we will eat so well on that! And to all of you who encouraged me in this silly race. I never thought I'd see the day when I would run 13 miles!

And... a year ago today we were on the eve of our wedding day. Good times...remember when El G acted a fool at Dos Gringos? Love that guy. What a husband. Seriously, I love that he ran this with me because I wanted to. He rocks.

The Walk of Shame, from the married woman of Phoenix

2007-01-13T10:41:00.000-08:00

I always love seeing the girls in the cab lines in Vegas in the morning. Wearing what's left of last night's Vegas ho-gear, streaked mascara, bed-head. Creeping back to their hotel to rendezvous with their girls, having just left the bed of some lucky Midwesterner. I love watching them stare at the ground...check their voicemails, waver in their pumps that are clearly killing them. Extra points for the skankier ones who are in pantyhose. Any given morning in Vegas, these girls are out there in the taxi lines.

So last night, Miss Knows It All, who also talks way too much shit, got her Happy Hour on again. With this being race week, I've been trying to eat better and have been running light. Anyway, somehow this creates some weaker version of the Happy Hour girl you all love so much. Three beers knocked her on her butt. It was good times with a fun crew, but something aint right when you lose your lunch in the bathroom stall before 7 pm. High Class. El G is in the dark about that detail.

So I had to get a ride home. I probably wasn't drunk by the time we left, but better to be safe than sorry. Three Beers people. Who AM I? Anyway, luckily there were some rockin chicas along and they sorted me. Ended up at home without my car.

8 o'clock, Saturday morning, Einsteins on McDowell. I'm in a fleece pullover, hair in a ponytail, some cotton stretch pants, my face is clean, but no make-up. FLip-flops. While putting the Splenda in my coffee, I ask El G if we are going to get my car directly from here or if we are going back to the house to eat first.

"We'll go get your car right now...eat here."

I go sit down without looking back or responding. A minute later he sits down with the biggest grin on his face and is holding back a laugh. An older man in the coffee area overheard our little discussion and once I was out of earshot said, "Smart move...Smart move. Get her to her car and no reason for her to go back to your house." Wink and a big smile.

El G scored!!! He's getting rid of last night's hook-up! But he buys her coffee first. Of course, why would he correct some random old man who was proud of the young El G. El G simply said... "Yeah.." and came and sat down.

Good stuff. I guess I thought I looked pulled-together, but after a happy hour gone wrong, I guess you just wear it on your face like-it-or-not.

Random Appearances

2007-01-09T14:01:00.000-08:00

Hey all!
I’m back. I’ve been so out of commission with posting. Really, the biggest reason is the lack of a desk. The computer was ghetto-rigged for the last couple of months in our office, but we finally built the desk this weekend, and now it’s much easier to get online.

Its been really busy but all is good in my world. CeCe and WestCoast are about ready to become moms in a matter of weeks. Can't wait. Although, I will mss the tummy rubbing. I’ve been running and running. I’m still really slow, but I think I’m going to make it. It’s Sunday…so stay tuned to see if my sorry ass can make it through. The plan is to get a tattoo to honor my achievement. I’m kinda scared. MOM… don’t freak out. Its going to be fine. Ask my husband.

Christmas at home was really good, quiet. El G came along and he had a nice time and was only a little homesick. He finally experienced the NW rain, which he almost always misses. The Edgefield was really cool, and we had a good time catching up with Rocky and Lu. I got a massage. Ate a ton. Good stuff.

There were a lot of holiday parties in December. Then Minister Dougie was in town and so we had new years with him. I really missed all you girls. Laidback was the only one that I got to see, but I was kinda stuck with the frat boys, and she had some of crew.. so we only together briefly. It was nice and I was proud to be working my new belt.

Coming up in my world:
Anniversary this weekend. I’m making El G run the half marathon with me. Isn’t that nice of me? Isn’t he a lucky man? He has to pace with me, so that’s going to be hard for him. After we are going to Flemings for dinner. It’s my favorite place in AZ to eat.
Saturday night is the couples baby shower for Baby Knapp. It looks to be a good time, but I can’t drink much since it’s the night before the race. Next month we are planning a Housewarming, Prez Day weekend. Sangria promised!
Oh, and my dad is back to his status quo. He’s fine and has a new adventure to brag about. Thanks to you kids who checked in on me while he was out of commission.
Now that Im back to having a set up at home, I’ll be online more. Lucky you.

Rocky. I’m still waiting for you to get back online too.
Lu—why are you wearing high tops in my dreams??

Bake...run...bake....run

2006-12-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

The holidays are an emotional time for most of us. I've had some traumatic events at work that are tough. I'm going through some very stressful time with my dad. He's ok, but we're just dealing with some stuff. It always makes me want to be at home, even though, right now, that would be futile. He'll be fine, I just worry. I think that my relationship with my dad pushes that "codependency" line, but I've decided that that term is a Western perspective, and I am just a dutiful daughter who is very bound to my dad. Is that another excuse for it? Probably. But EL G helps me work through it. Marriage can really help with this stuff.

Yesterday we recieved some devastating news with respect to some dear dear friends. I cannot share the details at this time, but I know you understand. I also am not going to mention who it is, to respect their privacy. They are not readers of this blog and none of you are friends with them. It hit us really hard, although not as hard as it is for them obviously. El G and I were really struck and both of us feel sick. Life takes turns for all of us, and I do feel overwhelmingly blessed. I just wanted to take a minute yesterday and send some love to some of you who I miss a lot right now. It's weird cuz when I feel sad and low, I reach out to the same small circle of you. I am so deeply grateful for you all. I'm really excited that I get to see a lot of my friends tonight. East Coast and CC, I miss you too a ton. CC, lets see each other soon!

And I am coming home in 18 days! So I hope to see Garrett and Rocky and Lu. i need rejuvenation and to give you all a squeeze. We'll be at Edgefield, so I'm hoping we can all meet up for dinner and hang for an evening out there?

So, I'm cheering myself today. I'm baking 12 dozen cookies for a party Monday. I'm decorating for XMAS and listening to XMAS music. I'm running a race tomorrow and Just getting ready for the holidays and this half marathon. I'm ok, I just feel a little emotionally needy! Cookies and El G are doing the trick right now! Oh and my cutie Suri who met us for dinner. I'm overwhlemed with X's and O's for that guy. He's so good to us.

I don't know how you pregnant girls manage! I'm emotional and I'm not even PMSing, let alone pregnant. Anyway, I'm thinking of you all! I believe there is never time to waste in making sure that everyone you love knows it. Again, as I said on Thanksgiving, I appreciate all of you who love me and accept me for that nut I am.

See you all very soon. Take care of each other.

Wedding Crashers

2006-11-28T19:13:00.000-08:00

Two weekends ago, our dear friend Kirka got married. El G and I, along with LaidBack and that crazy Egyptian, and LowerCaseG, Tiff and Indiana. Much much wine was consumed and a lot of stress was relieved. It was fun, unciviliized, and its a complete wonder we ever get invited to anything. Sometimes I convince myself that we are invited to be the entertainment, so we put on a good show. This night, we danced outrageously, Indiana was bent over by me (in front of a child) on the dance floor, LowerCaseG rocked out to "Old TIme Rock and ROll" with a routine he couldn't have just whipped up right there, and then we all line-kicked to New York New York! The bride and groom stared in disbelief. We all grabbed a drink to go and hit the taxi van. LowerCase G hung out the window all the way home on the verge of puking while we all sung at the top of our lungs. Good time weddings..

I call this one "before"
so this is..."someone's cut off!"

EL G such the Ladies Man

2006-11-28T19:08:00.000-08:00

Last month's star of the show

Why Indiana should never go to Mexico

2006-11-28T19:06:00.000-08:00

Go El G GO!

In our front room

2006-11-28T19:04:00.000-08:00

My fireplace
Which you really really need in AZ. Here is just a pic of the place, for those of you h=who haven't been over yet.

Mi casa

2006-11-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

Mi casa

This is our little house. See? In AZ we CAN have grass! We still have a lot of settling in to do.. but this is the place! Come on over.

Thankfulness

2006-11-22T14:54:00.000-08:00

Above anything else this year, I am thankful for my family. For me, my friends are also my family, so I am thankful for all these amazing people in my life that I love and appreciate everyday. My parents are such blessings. I won’t pretend that they don’t stress me out sometimes, but I am really lucky to have them. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am that my mom is healthy. She had breast cancer this year, and we were lucky and she is fine. And while I may not live close, I am thankful that I have a job and a husband and the ability to go home and be with her when it was happening. I’m thankful for my mom and her way of always seeing the positive side of things, her tender heart, her ability to endure, and all the sacrifices she makes for all of us. My dad has his struggles to, but I am so thankful for all his strength, his undying love for me, his silliness and his guidance. I miss them both so much. I know that I can call them at anytime, but sometimes I just miss being with them. But I am thankful for the trip I am going to take in less than one month where I can see them both!

I’m thankful for my little sister. She’s a silly one, but she is such a fun girl to be with. She’s also so sweet and I worry about her non-stop. I’m grateful to have such a friend in her and to know that she loves me and forgives my faults and she just gets me. I’m thankful that I get to be her sis.

You all know how much I love this El G. This year, we were married. I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude for him as a partner. I am grateful that he too accepts that I am still a work in progress and have only begun to discover flaws and weaknesses and that he loves me anyway. I am thankful for his support, his humor, his smoking dance moves, and that he has all his locks.

I’m thankful to all my extended family who I can call after months and months and nothing is different. They love me still. They share their joys with me even though I am living so far away. They have all these little babies that they let me love and brag about.

And all of my friends. I’m thankful to your support and generosity, and especially for hanging out with me and being my “downtime”. My work and life can be overwhelming, and the times I have with my friends are such uppers. I’ve made a lot of you listen to me go on and on about so much too. So thanks for shaking your thangs with me, taking me to dinner, and all the other fun stuff you all do. Most of you don’t’ even read this, so I hope that you know that I love you and appreciate you for every little thing. I’m not the easiest person in the world to love. Even though I know my mom and dad disagree! ;)

I’m obviously thankful for a million things. My home, my job, my health. But I think that it’s the people in my life that make me who I am. Thanks to all of you. And to those of you who I share blogging with… thanks to you too. I am glad to have gotten to know all of you and wish you all the best for the holiday!

Buried Alive

2006-11-16T14:10:00.000-08:00

A horrible way to go, i admit. But we there are few times when we get to choose our demise, and I did not choose this. I'm dying over here! Save me!

Girls' Dinner Saturday night sounds like a start.

last weekend's crazy wedding debauchery (where pinchi bob danced like a fool to "old time rock and roll" and we all rockette kicked in a line to "New York New York") left me very tired. ok, so bending Indiana over on the dance floor added to it, and singing in the cab all the way home while pinchi bob was on the verge of puking out the window also added to the exhaustion. Ah, weddings.

Then there was that whole NFL game where we had luxury box tix and watched the Cowboys spank the lame-ass Cardinals. But it was a lot of food and wine and fun anyway. Plus the 20 hours I worked over the weekend, the trips to Costco, Home Depot, a really good dinner and down time with the Knapps, and a student mixer. Whew! Last weekend really did me in.

I got a new camera so I'll upload some wedding pics. Look out. El G was almost in dance contest mode. Not quite though. Man my husband rocks. He was so impressed with Indiana's moves too. She was shaking her little thang all over the place.
And Souccar...classic.

Okay Home Team, that's the word. peace and chicken grease.

Popping in for a second

2006-11-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since i've posted anything. Not for lack of subject-matter, but for lack of access and opportunity. In the new house, we have some crazy high speed capability (i'm not sure what it is, El G just informs me that it's better than what we had...) but we have yet to hook up, since we are in need of something to place our computer on. At the old place there was a built-in desk. New house has no such thing, so we are on the hunt for a desk. So I have to no internet at home. THus, no way to really blog. I am posting this from the office since today is a holiday and I am here. I have to work every ninth weekend... and this happens to be mine. Since all we do is arraignments, I have some down time with Internet access. So.. here I am.

So let's get updated on why buying a home is really stressful. Apparently it's one of the most stressful things one can do, and I believe that. El G and I really are not ones to fight, but goodness there is some tension when we are still battling all of the details of moving in. We had to have the washer/dryer people come from Sears a million times, since the space for the washer dryer was too small... wrong parts, etc. etc. In the interim, I've spent two evenings in a laundrymat. Talk about bringing back memories. Ugh. The worst thing is that El G bought himself a big plasma. HE loves it. But it's been an absolute nightmare coordinating with Direct TV. Literally, more than 15 hours of our time has been spent on this debacle, and it sucks. To top it off, after we waited for 5 hours yesterday for yet another service appointment, they failed to show again. He was on the phone with them for another hour. I don't know why they seem to think they can just convince us that it's all in our crazy heads that this is difficult. Why would we think we had an appt? We obviously did not, since there is none in their system. And obviously no system error, just us being ungrateful morons. The last tech we did have that came, did something BAD... cuz it appears the TV is now blown. That is NO JUICE. BAD BAD BAD. El G not handling this very well at all. He lost it last night. we had to go over to the neighborhood wine bar so he could calm down. He was hating this house, this life, wishing for a better wife....and all the other latin drama he could muster. Poor thing. Once he gets all torked up like that, he just conks out with exhaustion. Much like a three-year old's tantrum.

Anyway, I love the house. Love the hood. Every neighbor has come by. I love to sit on my porch and read and drink a beer or coffee. I have a nice bathtub and a great shower in my room. It's perfect. Wine cellar is still in the works.

It's been busy. So happy to have little Cara home. Her and C are so cute pregnant together. DC was here and it was such a great time. Miss her to pieces. I'm sad that Indiana may be packing it out, but what can you do? She's a tumbleweed! ;)
Holidays are almost here. We had the Pastor wedding, the reunion, and antoher wedding tomorrow. El G is going to Vegas for a fight, his fam is coming for Thanksgiving, and then it's December. I want to have a Housewarming and then we head to P-town for XMAS. I'm allegedly training for a half marathon, and somewhere between all that and my wine habit, I go to work.

I'm determined to go to Europe next year. And Prince is now in VEGAS all the time! What???? SO exciting. So I'm in a good place, busy and in transisition. Work has been good lately....(knock on wood for me please) and so I feel good with it.

God there is a lot more, but I'm off to court. I'll be back in the saddle soon as soon as we get wired in. May be a bit for photos. Lost my new camera! So sad.

Take care out there.

He needed cheering up....

2006-10-24T15:42:00.000-07:00

Brother In-Law at Knotts Berry Farm

Baby Fever

2006-10-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

Tia KIA
Not really. But here's a pic of me HOLDING a baby! love her!

the little munchkin

2006-10-24T11:13:00.000-07:00

My niece Leslie Carolina

At the Santa Monica Pier

2006-10-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

Spot the Jackass in this Photo!

Knows Nothing About MOVING

2006-10-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

I'd post if I had five minutes! I hate the moving process. All that I care to say is that Big Al was great and no drama. Just helpful and sweet and I miss him already. I hate all things Home Depot, Sears, and all those service guys. If you are going to charge be an arm and a leg to start water, electric, gas, cable, etc. etc... could you at least be hot?

All that and work too... I need a good night's sleep. Oh but the AC is broken. So it's a bazillion degrees! there are still boxes everywhere and i'm freaked about the whole cash scene.

Good times.

Really, I'm good. ;)

This weekend.

2006-10-16T13:25:00.000-07:00

Mi Esposo
Sigh....

Too Tired to Think...

2006-10-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

1. Opinion :: anytime
2. Tardy :: regulate
3. Peer pressure :: still feeling it
4. Grownup :: just about
5. ! :: duh
6. Beer :: the suds of my life
7. Sit :: REVOLT
8. Shower :: El G
9. Consummate :: big words
10. Wasting :: water

Random Free Associations from Flipsy, (from Stennie)

I'm exhausted from the road trip to LA to see the newest baby niece. She's adorable of course. Too much eating, theme parks, and KnowsItAll being nice and accomodating. I need a break and to shut out the world for a bit.
PICS to come.

Moving week this week and DAD is coming. I better rest up!

In other news...

2006-10-07T08:46:00.000-07:00

we are officially homeowners! So exciting and I love my little house more and more every time I visit. We had initially envisioned that we would move in, just the two of us, but my brother-in-law is going to need to stay on a bit. Poor thing. I know he hates it and would prefer to be off on his own, but it wasn't in the cards just yet. No worries, he's a great roommate and we love him and would never kick him to the curb. ;)

Now the decorating and stuff starts. It's fun and El G is really good at helping. We won't be moving immediately, since there's a lot going on, but we'll be in my the end of the month. DAD is coming on the 17th for a week to help. Be on the lookout for posts of me losing my mind about then!

I've decided to train for a half marathon! WE'll see. I have till Jan 15. Whew!

I made one of my employees cry this week. I overloaded on her. I hate management. But me and C and Indiana ran into her last night at Oregano's and we bought her a drink. SHe knows I like her, but sometime's I'm just not that sensitive.
Umm.. and freaking CUTE is C? I can't stand it. ;) I had to get a little tipsy and act a bit of a fool just to temper the excitement. It was a nice night.

It seriously is a baby invasion these days. I have to pregnant employees, two pregnant cousins, two pregnant DP Club members, one other pregnant friend, and El g's brother just had a baby and so did his best friend. We bought out Gymboree last night to start the gifts! I love baby gifts! I'm sad I'll miss my little cousin's babyshower back home since she's having twins...and my family is excited. But I bought a cute set of stuff for them. Can't wait to meet them at Christmas!

Tonite is Tiff's wedding. Look out Phoenix! Next weekend, we are headed to LA to meet our new niece. This is one busy fall. I haven't even had time to hate my job so much this week! KNOCK ON WOOD.

Safe weekend to all!

P.S., busy or not, I'm a bit homesick. Christmas seems so far away....

Non-sensical random thoughts

2006-09-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel old, or afraid to get old. I can feel my breasts descending as I write this. But then, something will happen to remind me that I'm so young and have so much life ahead of me. Take today's lunch for example. Me and C were at my fave hummus haven, when the table next to us (all ladies in their 70s I'd guess) interrupted us. They were gabbing and chatting and sharing lipstick colors apparently when they they needed assistance. They couldn't read the make and model of the one they liked so much. OK, so they didn't ask me for help...they asked C, but I'm affiliating with her even though she's a couple of years younger...but whatever. Oh, and, the fact that I'm undoubtedly more blind than all of them...but the point of this little story is that they saw us as young. And they represent how much fun life is even down the road. I better be having some lunch with my girls decades from now, giggling and telling each other what's what.

Sometimes I feel bored, or what I think may actually be sad. I spend way too much time staring into space. But then I think that maybe what I am really experiencing is just the coming-down effects of all that caffeine I consume. I wish I was kidding. Someone wrote recently that only boring people get bored and that completely freaked me out. Holy Crap! Is that it? Am I just boring? Took me a whole 20 minutes to sort myself out on that. Duh. I'm so not boring. Crazy people are never boring.

Sometimes I feel like "woe-is-me" with my complicated and underappreciated job. Then I realize that I get paid more than enough to keep my stomach fed, my nails painted, and then some. I barely have a boss, I work in the field I know my heart wants me too, and I can make it what I want. I just have to choose how I view it. Right? Not to mention the bazillion other ways in which I am such a lucky human being. And then there is that man who makes me safe and SO happy. His name is El G. And he is the greatest thing ever...but he gets embarrassed at how much I talk about all the awesome things he does for me... so I won't. But sometimes, I just overflow with hearts for him. X's and O's all over the place.

Sometimes I feel grateful. But I should be more grateful more often. I have more than I deserve. Sigh.

Tell El G I moved to San Diego

2006-09-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

I moved this weekend. I now live in a fabulous beach side condo, with a gorgeous view of the ocean, right in Mission Beach. My rental agreement includes stipulations that I don't have to work anymore and the sun will always shine. Great groups of girls will hang out with me and drink bottles and bottles of wine and watch all those yummy men run by...right under the window on the boardwalk. All I have to do is show up! OK..at least I'm not having nightmares anymore though! (although I did have that one where you forgot that you have a final in a day and you didn't even know you were in that class! Why is it always algebra????) This is the view from my new home. View from my new home

So we went to San Diego for Tiff's Bachelorette. It wasn't as out of control as it is when I travel with DP club, but it was good. I only knew Tiff and Monica, and there were 11 girls with us, but they were all really nice. two were pregnant and such troopers. We ate and ate, and drank and drank. Saturday we went sailing and this crazy Bulgarian ex-mafia man was our skipper, but it was good times. KnowsItAll Sailing

While out on Saturday night, we ran into our old friend "the guy who got married on the Today show!". DP Club got a little crazy with him one night last Spring in Arlington. So random to cross paths again, on the other side of the country!
I also ran into some random Nogalians. EL G always tells me that all roads lead to Nogie.. and I am learning that that is to true. No this isn't one. But i love this pic! Tiff had to kiss the first man we saw with a mustache, and if that ain't one...I don't know what is!How could she resist?

Other than that...same ol'. Still sorting out this home buying business. Almost there I think! Who knows? And work...well...that's why god invented wine.

I thought I was alone

2006-09-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

THE BURBS

My favorite movie ever. Thanks to the best realtor around, I am remembering good times with the Klopeks.

Dream Interpreting?

2006-09-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt I was in a building. Something felt like I was in a film. Some evil guy was hanging out in a crawlspace and he put on a blue ring. It glowed and the whole room lit up blue. He began to transform and I ran. I just knew he was about to become King Kong. Yet, in my dream, I kept referring to him in my mind as BigFoot.

I ran up and up flight of stairs in an office building. Hiding in an office area, I saw his huge monkey-gorilla head pass by through the windows, slowly. I started running around and at one point saw his huge hand in a doorway. I made it to the top floor where I had a view of the parking garage. There he was!!! Oddly enough, he was looking for me by driving around in a Mini Cooper. It didn't seem weird to me that he was in a Mini-Cooper, regular-sized. He blew through the traffic gate and was spinning through the garage.

I was conviced my capture was imminent! What could he want? What would I do when he caught me? I'm no gymnast like the chic in the movie. I jolted awake.

Seriously all day long I've been plagued by images of his big ass head cruising past windows. What does it all mean???? F'ing scary movies. Sheesh.

All the KnowsItAll spaces

2006-09-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

Buying a house has been so much more stressful than I expected. We've lost sleep, fought a lot more, and have eaten a lot of Advil. The selection process was tough enough. Then I fell in love, and we decided to buy this one. But there has been so much unknown. Asbestos testing? I had no idea that it was not a given. well, let me say that first I only knew it was still a risk when Indiana almost bought a house last year, only to find out the thing was dripping in asbestos. So it was a question we've had the whole time. But when we had the inspection done, we assumed we'd know. But apparently you have to have a separate test. To the tune of $550 more bucks. I guess some people just opt not to have it. I cannot imagine living in a home that has a very good possibility of having asbestos and not really knowing. No can do. We'll find out today.

Financing is another debacle. It's fine, it's just kind of time-consuming and the options are all so briefly described. being lawyers, we tend to kind of want to know what everything means. We are probably the most annoying home buyers ever.

On top of all that, a lot of complications in the world of work. However, I am taking some advice from some friends and no longer writing anything on here about work. It's sad, cuz this is my venue...but things could be taken the wrong way. I even changed my super cool MYSPACE account to private. I knew it was possible for the entire world to read it, but admittedly it does have "less than professional" elements so I don't need any of my sworn enemies using it against me. So readers, if you want access...make a MYSPACE account. Use a fake name and no photo or anything is needed. It's just a log in. And then I'll be your friend. :) Fair warning, this is how I got started, and then i got suckered in.

I'm excited to make some progress on the house. Hopefully things will shake out this week and we will know for sure if the thing is going to happen by next week. I think the appraisal will be by end of week. Thank god for Heidi. It seems like being a realtor is a lot of work. And in the middle of all this, she traveled to DC and NYC to lobby for Zoie's law.

Next Thursday, I am off to San Diego for a Bachelorette weekend. A day of sailing included. It should be a good time. I'm excited to leave the world of work, and house stress and just get my chill on in San Diego. We have some weddings coming up this fall, and the move, so the next thing we'll know Christmas will be here. We are going to PTown this year and already booked at a super cool hotel. So I'm feeling good about it all. THe summer blues are almost done!

I have to think more about where I can vent and process my "issues". This blog has been an outlet for some time, but I feel so guarded here now. Yet, I'm not looking for an entirely private journal, cuz my co-dependence thrives off your opinions and thoughts. We'll see.

Have a good weekend all! Go DUCKS!

Another thing to know...

2006-08-26T08:59:00.000-07:00

Alright ya'll. You know I don't hate babies or children. I actually mostly love the little buggers, just don't want one in my home(to live or extended stay). I saw some adorable little ones at an alumni event last night. I have a big weak spot for little brown Indian babies with gobs of hair. Little chunksters.

Anyway, with babies and kids there are a million and one things to know about. Cutting up hot dogs to the right proportions, buckets of water, bad people, electrical outlets, and the list goes on and on. Parents and caretakers have a tough job. But there are a lot of things that people are unaware of that pose serious dangers to children.

ZOIE FOUNDATION This website and organization was created after the niece of a friend of ours was killed in a tragic event. Power windows of a vehicle. The family succeeded in getting congress to act and change the regulations, but parents should still be aware, since a lot of vehicles are still capable of this. I take this a step further and suggest no one ever leave a child alone in a vehicle for any amount of time. Hot cars, slipping cars into gear and rolling, and the risks go on and on.

Take care of your little angels. They are gifts.

Life is pretty good, at least I don't live in Tucson

2006-08-13T18:21:00.000-07:00

Tucson really does suck. There are those who defend it's charm, or scenery. And I'm so over the biggest trailer park in the west. Surrounded by mountains or not. I hate Tucson. This morning, i saw a giant woman in a giant blue bathing suit, floating face up with a swim cap on, in the pool, her feet in those weird water shoes, holding on by her feet to the pool ladder. THe image seemed to capture Tuscon to me.

Spent the weekend there for my mother-in-law's 50th. We had a really good time, eating, drinking, and being merry. That family is huge and they all get along and enjoy being with one another. And they like me too! I'm really lucky with my in-laws. (Grandma was pretty good all weekend...no freak outs!) Only about ten comments that fall in the "so when are you going to start a family" category. In other settings, my answer is "when they stop letting me have abortions", but in this scene, I just smile and shrug. Pinchi babies. ;)

So now it's back to work again. This is going to be a tough week. Meetings all week, and if I had the guts to post about why work sucks, then you would hear all about the contradictions that are my life. Let me just say that I feel like the end is near...and not sure how that will come about. I just don't see myself in the same position after the new year. To visualize that would have to be followed by another visualization of me jumping off a bridge.

We are house shopping though and I am going back and forth on my feelings. I get excited, then I panic. Luckily we have the best realtor. She buys me wine and takes us to eat when we start freaking out. I am hoping to make an offer by the end of the month and be a real grown-up by November. GULP.

Alright. My chilled vino is missing me.....

Whenever I need a pick me up....

2006-08-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

I just watch this and all is right with the world. Thank God for YOU TUBE

Randy Watson Ladies and Gentlemen

Where's Waldo?

2006-08-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

I'm such a mother hen. My BIL (brother-in-law) lives with us. He has for 4 -5 years. I'm used to being his second mom. He's generally a simple kid. Sleep, School, video games, fast food. That's pretty much him.

However, he took the bar exam this summer and began sleeping somewhere else. WE kind of asked him a few times- only to be told it's none of our beeswax. So his mom asked and he claimed to be studying with a friend. But the bar's over and that kid still has not slept one night at home. He comes home every morning and gets a change of clothes, and checks mail and then leaves.

Who is the lucky lady? I am determined to know by the end of the weekend. Detective skills on!

I'm at it again...

2006-08-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

True to my nature, I've found another controversial issue to have an opinion on. And of course, in my days past, and probably in my future, I've been on the other side of the fence, pretty passionately. Don't you love that?

Anyway, this one is touchy. And unless I am in like-minded company I REALLY need to just not talk about it. It's fundamental to who people are and where they come from and way too sensitive. It's surely not something to joke about lightly.

I don't judge most who are on the opposite side of the fence. (some yes, for their blind faith)! But it just makes for tension and unnecessary rudeness.

I was having a lovely dinner with Laidback and CC and I joked about it. I don't think either would really take me too seriously, but it was kind of weird. After I jokingly asked if one of them subscribes to what I do not...( I think?). Later, I just thought that I am such an asshole.

Good lord, I need my mouth wired shut. I'm not that smart, and I'm not that damn funny. I'm just obnoxious and annoying. Forgive me and remind me of that.

Some P-Town Vacation Pics

2006-08-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

At Pearl Jam

I thought I loved PJ back in the day, but E.V. is hotter, tanner, sweatier, pissed-as-ever, and I loved it. Even if it was 108 degrees and a 5 hour drive. Good stuff.

Brewfest Baby!

So cool that J and Miry came down from Seattle to hang with us. Wish more of my crew could have been there, but we made do!

Chilling at the Jupiter Hotel

This hotel is so cool. We loved all the guests and funky details of the hotel.
I bought this "Let's overthrow the government" T-shirt and felt like I was home again!

How I shall be remembered!

2006-08-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Give the dog a bone..

2006-07-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

Red Patent Leather Pumps? Frivilous. I don't need them. Weekly manicure? Frivilous. I could probably do my own nail care. Magazine subscriptions, NetFlix, HappyHour funds...all of this stuff are clearly the luxury items. So this is where I admit that I do not live entirely modest. Time spent in Scottsdale has exposed me to people who have A LOT of money to spend, and they spend it in ways I could not imagine. Now don't get me wrong, if I had tons more money, I'd step up my spending to be sure. But I draw the fucking line at this fucking pet bullshit.

Yesterday, I went to lunch in Scottsdale with some friends. One pointed out to me a store called "Canine Diva". This place pisses me off. In the window, they proudly display a dog bikini on a stuffed dog. What in the hell is wrong with you people? A fucking dog does not need, or for that matter "want" a bikini. Seriously, I can't believe that a store that sells only dog fashion can make the rent. Call me evil, but I want to step on the necks of all these customers. Into the hot pavement. Burn some fucking sense into them. Dogs don't need specialty beds, pools, wardrobes, or visits at a pet resort where they can get massages. It's insane.

Look, I have been subject to the silly factor of a dog in a Santa hat. Or spiky leather collars if the dog is a bad ass or whatever. But to think that your stupid dog would be as shallow and idiotic as you if they were human, thus you should dress them in your style...you should just die. I think you don't have any friends and I find you pathetic and not worthy of sharing space with me. I can tolerate a bow, a funny collar, and DOG SHOES if it is unreasonably hot for their paws. Other than that, you are an idiot.

The same is true for you fools who have birthday parties for your dog. I don't know if you realize this, but your dog doesn't know what a birthday cake is, or give a shit if you sing Happy Birthday to him. Stop trying to make your dog your human baby, or substitute friend. You're just humiliating yourself. TRUST ME. Even if you surround yourself with similarly-minded morons, other people will find out about your dog parties, and they are talking about you as a moron. The only time it's ok to have a dog party is if you are EIGHT.

Do you know that this weekend, I saw two bitches at the mall with dogs in dog strollers? Is it that they are too fucking retarded that they can't get a man to impregnate them so they troll around with dog babies? Someone notify the authorities, please.

Get a real hobby. Drinking seems to work for me, and it's much more respectable. Consider a charity, donate your time or your money. It's so much more appreciated and moral. You know there are humans out there that could really use some clothes. Coats, work clothes, etc. And in case you still don't get it...YOUR DOG DOES NOT WANT THESE STUPID CLOTHES FOOL.

Have you ever known anyone who died from Crack?

2006-07-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

Seriously. I mean they tried to scare us to death about it, but really, I have never known a person to DIE! And I know a few legit crackheads.
Anyway, apparently this was a good attempt to keep people off the junk.

WAS HE FOR REAL?

I say it's my Birthday!

2006-07-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm in day four of Birthday week...

It's a million f'ing degrees. Seriously, I'm melting here. Going to P-town in a few days, only to find out that it's going to be a million degrees there! UGH.

Anyway, I have had a good start. Traditional banana pancakes. Awesome fancy dinner Saturday night, from El G. He bought me a super-cool camera. Plenty of photos to come! Happy Hour this Friday at PINK TACO
Get to share the experience with FOXXXY.

And because I would never want to be a source of stress for you: What To Get Me

XOXO --

Miss Knows It All

What's in my world?

2006-07-14T07:32:00.000-07:00

Tagged from THRUSHER

Five things in my Closet:
Old Yearbooks
Halloween Costumes from years past
All my "Sh8ri" skirts
My pool bag
Various torture devices

Five Things in my Fridge:
Hummus
Sam Adams Light
Cherries
Ten thousand yogurts
Diet coke

Five Things in my Car:

Pearl Jam burned CDs
Gym Pass
An Old card from my Dad - which I use for his address
Miscellaneous work papers all over the back seat
Wine bottle opener -- cuz u never know when you may need it!

Five Things in my Purse:
My Badge (law enforcement badge, shiny and gold!) Pet Detective KIA!
Three kinds of longwear MAC lip stuff
Eclipse Mints
Both phones (blackberry and my lame-o standard phone)
Shades (J-Lo Brand!)

I tag FLIPSY POPCORN and FOXXXY (you can do it as a comment to my post, I bend rules here!)

Carefree, Arizona

2006-07-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

Ahhh! It's kind of hard to hate Arizona when you are pampered at this place. THE BOULDERS RESORT Lounging by the pool, icy slushy brightly-colored drinks and snacks being delivered. Polite and helpful staff. What more could you ask for?

Ok, maybe that the "snobsdale" fat rich bitches would dry up somewhere else, but what can you do? (seriously, all that bleach for your hair and orange skin and wearing all that jewelry into the pool...you look like a freaking clown!)

El G treated me to a night at this place. Amazing. The casita was so cute and I took a long soak in the biggest tub ever with a truckload of bubbles. Went to yummy dinner, drank just enough wine (meaning, I didn't get bawled out for freakin' anyone or end up naked puking). The resort has beautiful "flora and fauna" which I think means nature. ;) Little bunnies chilled on the patio. I raided the minibar for chocolate late night. Good stuff.

I'm refreshed! One day of work and then we get Tuesday off. Yippee. I hate the Fourth of July though, so I gotta figure out how to avoid all things patriotic and fireworks-centered. Open to suggestions!

TGIF

2006-06-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

Recovered from yesterday's horribleness. I forgot to post that yesterday, my superstar El G was on local radio. (AM...does that count?) Well, it does if you speak Spanish. He was a guest on a pretty popular show among the Hispanic communitites talking about law and politics. I listened, and I wish I knew what he was talking about. I think it was mostly how much he loves his wife. It was really cute. Seriously, I think he's awesome!!! He may go on monthly. Do you love it?

Alright, so I am so ready for the weekend. Official KNOWS IT ALL ANNUAL BREWFEST COUNTDOWN AT 28 DAYS! My arrival in P-Town at a mere 21 days.

Today officially blew.

2006-06-29T18:22:00.000-07:00

Overslept.

Had to "clean" up before the housecleaner arrived. (WTF?) I hate chores!! Is this not what we pay her for? Hanging clothes up and me.... not happening.

Found out secretary is secretely gathering info about me to sabotage me and get me fired. Is it wrong to fantasize about her untimely death?

Some idiot bill collector calls me about some dumb bill that I PAID!!! Wasted about 20 minutes of my miserable day explaining to her! Ugh.

Ate a scone. Bad. Bad.

HAd to attend yet another futile meeting. THROUGH LUNCH!

Had to meet with a victim's family and give very depressing and sad news.

El G called and bawled my ass out for my money spending. Duh. Why on earth did I agree to let him have access to my bank accounts? I'm such an idiot.

Detective tells me everyone hates me. And it's true.

About to roll out early, when two people whom I cannot choose to igonre arrive and want to have a sit down and rake me over for two f'ing hours. Didn't get out of work till 6!

Said no to Happy Hour cuz my lazy ass skipped the gym two days in a row already!

I hate today and I quit.

Cabs, Planes and Creeps

2006-06-28T18:59:00.000-07:00

Had I any doubt that it takes quite a bit for me to feel any luv for a creepy pale skinny white guy, let that be law at this point. I am just back from a brief trip to San Diego to see Radiohead in concert. OK, here is where I tell you upfront, I have total crap taste in music. I know it and I'm okay with it. El G however still thinks he can change me. He subscribes to this thought that Radiohead is musical genius and a phenom and stuff. I'm so not getting it. Radiohead (video) El G DOES actually have good taste, this stuff aside. Poor thing. I don't want anyone thinking he's a freak.

El G never drags me to things I don't want to do, absent trips to Nogales, but I mean it's his family. And he's funded a lot of my crap lately, Madonna, Pearl Jam, etc... so I felt I owed him. And I have gone to Vegas for Barry for someone else I love dearly. Such a Fanilow He bought tickets to Radiohead in San Diego for a Tuesday night. We booked early lunchtime flights for the day out and were going to have Happy Hour or dinner with friends and take in this concert by the Bay.

Trouble started with the fact that our 40 minute flight was delayed 3 hours! So I spent my lovely afternoon off in Terminal 4, SkyHarbor, in a bar with a bunch of necks headed to Nashville. We make it to San Diego with few minutes to spare after checking into the fleabag motel, and getting a cab. El G reveals he has no idea where it is. "Some park near the bay I think". Nice. $35 in cab fare later driving around.. we find it. Translation: no dinner, no happy hour, no seeing friends. Hot dog and water instead. Eeww.... The concert itself was unoffensive. F'ing beautiful venue by the way. Water, skyline, etc. SO the weather was awesome and the crowd was cool, all hippies and other GW hating-types. The band is fine, just not interesting to me. I saw some girl get "bum-rushed" by her friend for no apparent reason, and the victim was laid out and maybe got really hurt. She didn't move for some time and they took her out in an ambulance. I did a lot of people watching. El G confiscated my cell phones so I would pay attention. It was long and boring. The fans were like they were at church, hushing everyone and stuff. "Hey man, you're talking during the best band in the world you know?" And they DID NOT play any songs that I would even recognize. No "Creep" or "Karma Police". Sometimes, I wish I was a stoner.

Some really drunk kid was behind us and he kept yammering on and on about his obsession with Johnny Depp. This kid was young though, cuz when I made my "Electricity is not sexy, I hate electricity! It killed my parents" reference, he didn't get it CRYBABY Kids these days! Sidenote, I love that man. Makes me so weak...what I wouldn't do for a bucking bronco from him. Jokes.

Anyway, we get back to fleabag and get to bed. No blumpkin like we planned as El G just wasn't feeling it. Settled for swimmer's ear instead. (See this month's GQ).

Up at the crack of dawn to make it to return flight. Mother F'ing C8ck Sucking Flight CANCELLED. 4 more hours at the airport before we made it home. Long story short, what a complete shit two days. San Diego is awesome and that should have been cool. If only we had gone to see Pink Martini.

The World Ain't Ready for Baby KnowsItAll

2006-06-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

I spent the summer of 1994 in Orlando with an internship. It was my first time out of Oregon for more than a few days and I made a lot of new friends. I was learning what life was like out of my parents' world and the neighborhood I was from. New faces from other parts of the country and just being out of my element. Being young and free and vulnerable. Good stuff.

When I came home, all that was left behind because of a sweet little baby named Tyler. His idiot father and useless mother could not care for him so he and my cousin, his dad, came to live at my dad's house. Along with a constant flow of other relatives. His dad was/is a loser. Pot head. Spaz. And it was only a matter of weeks before I was the care-provider for Tyler. He was nine months old and his mom had split. (to be fair, her brother had just killed himself and cited Tyler as the part of the reason. He was jealous and lonely and clearly one fucked up dude.) So Tyler needed to be held, fed, bathed, watched, and everything else a mom does. His dad would just get up and go to work and take it for granted that someone was on it.

Sure it's irritating, but that little guy was alone in the world and no one cared. So he was mine. For 14 months. He saw his mom once a month for an overnight. His dad was stoned the whole time and was always disappearing. He called me Mama. I missed classes when there was no one to take care of him. I was not being young and partying, I was hanging with my boyfriend and taking care of this little guy. He learned to swim and walk, and then run, and he was awesome. He would sleep with his little hand on my pillow. He would cry when I went to school. He loved eggs, dinosaurs, trucks, and to ride in the truck. His smile melted me.

One day, his idiot dad was stoned out of his gourd and was going to drive Tyler somewhere. I protested. It got ugly. It went from a petty argument to the end. That night, they were gone. They went to Tyler's mom. Since that day, I have seen Tyler less than 10 times. He barely knows who I am. His parents are together and have remained so. His mom pulled her shit together and he is okay. But my heart was broken. Months went by and I was just blue. I still miss that kid.

It wasn't long after that that I started living the young single adult life. I moved to AZ, made a lot of friends, and saw more of the world. There were times in my life that I came really close to a lifestyle of marrying that boyfriend, becoming ham-and-eggers, having some babies, and well....you know....just moving along until we died. There would have been a whole lot of good things. Like kids I'd love to pieces. Simple pleasures.

My life is what it is though. I am care-taker and appointed worry-wart for a good handful needy relatives. I "parent" them. Trust me, I wish that wasn't true, but it is. So to have children and that burden would be overwhelming. So I accept the burdens I have, and appreciate the freedoms I have by not having babies. But I know that parenthood is a beautiful, fulfilling, and life-changing thing. If my life were not what it is, I'd probably be looking forward to it. Instead, I take advantage of my ability to choose other things. For me. Right now.

I feel sometimes misunderstood on this issue. Parenthood is a new element to some of my closest friends lately. That's amazing and the right thing for them at this point in their lives. I'm excited for all the beautiful things that will be a part of their lives. Tyler showed me what love for a child can bring. He wasn't even my own child and it was overwhelming. I suppose the heartbreak that came with that experience is probably not to be forgotten and may be a factor in my reluctance to become a parent.

So while I moan and groan about snotty noses, smelly diapers, whining, and all other things KID, it doesn't mean I think that choosing parenthood is a bad thing. I'm just not feeling that in my life right now. As long as you keep them at your own house, I'm good with you being parents. It's going to be great, and sometimes a pain in the ass, but mostly great. I'm totally ready to be Auntie KnowsItAll to all of 'em! I just want those of you who this is happening to know that I am happy for you and excited for your new lives. Please don't think that my opinion on my own parent-status to reflect on what you have.

Of course, I mean it when I say keep them at your own house. But you knew that right?

I'm even luckier than I thought...

2006-06-24T12:35:00.000-07:00

Another reason why P-Town peeps are so cool

This article is about how many Americans are lonely and don't have close friends. Portlanders have more. So Do I!

Is it asking too much?

2006-06-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

If I drag my tired ass out of bed and go all the way to Einstein's to buy bagels for my stupid staff, I like to buy some damn coffee to start my day. What I do not need is for it to be lukewarm. WTF?

I also don't need creepy annoying "Lieutenant" from the tribe to be there and try to talk to me when I am in my lounging clothes and hair tied up. Get out of my face freak. Why are you going to work at 6 am? I hate him.

And you annoying retired couple! Shut the fuck up. No one here cares about your stupid uneducated Republican opinions. Stop bothering all the good people who are trying to relax. Hurry up and die. Or at least move to a trailer park in Yuma.

Friday is supposed to be a good day. But since I have to work all weekend, maybe it's not really "Friday". It's gotta get better.

and a girl figures some stuff out...

2006-06-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

I've been wondering why I have been so freakin' bored. And then I figured it out, all of last year I was planning a damn weddding! I knew when it was all said and done I'd be on a low. Having less lists to make and caterers to call and all that stupid shit. Lame, but true.

So I need a project. I can't just keep spending money and planning trips.

However, just found out I'm gonna see mother f'ing PEARL JAM at the gorge! Are you kidding me? Going home is going to rule. July 23! Get out.

My mom

2006-06-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

I've updated some of you, but not everyone. It's great news!! Here's a link to her blog where I have updated the prognosis.
Robin's Progress

Mom and El G at the wedding. She thinks they look alike!

Too much idle time is a bad thing.....

2006-06-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I have the summer blues or just boredom. Yesterday, over some yummy Huckleberry Margaritas and enchiladas, I pledged to only be appreciative of all my good things. And I am so trying. But I think I am homesick and already worried about being trapped in AirConditioning for the next three and half months!

Yesterday, I got to have lunch with two of my best friends in the world. They have been so cool while I have been a little "off" lately. I can't be grateful enough for their patience and counsel. And they give me so many laughs and good times. And convinced me not to feel guilty for the abundance of all things bad I consumed yesterday. Let me tell ya, I found everything good to eat in my house and in all the Valley yesterday.

Ok, then El G was totally cool with me spending a ton of cash on more clothes. He's so good with that lately. (so good meaning keeping the debit card fully loaded and not bitching when I cause it to melt from over use). Anyway, I didn't have to work and there was no major drama going on.. so what gives? I should be on cloud nine, but still feel ho-hum. I HATE THAT!!

My parents are both relatively well. (by the way, mom update to follow). My dad was going to "Father's Day PowWow" which made me homesick. Mom was with the rest of our family at a reastuarant on the water having dinner and drinks and a nice night together. I guess maybe I'm just homesick. Probably because it is Father's day.

I want to be with silly energetic people, boating or at the river. With my sis or my dad just hanging out. Even crazy-ass cousin or my Ex (cause he is a little wacky but fun). Just playing outside in the Portland Summer. Racquel, Lu... I'm just telling ya, be ready for me to so overdue by the time I get up there on July 22!

Instead I'm racing to pool where it's totally serene here. It's a nice pool but it's so quiet. The concrete is so hot you can't stand on it even to walk from the pool chair to the pool's edge. Don't even try to have anything cold out there. Not going to happen.

I'm applying for a new job with the same tribe I work for. Maybe that will help if I get it. Change is good. I can keep a countdown to Portland Trip. 34 days! I'm working out a ton. I love hanging out with FOXXXY, who is a lot of fun and super cool.

I just need some things PLANNED. Trips, events.. stuff. I'm uncomfortable just being.

I'm such a good boss!

2006-06-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

Spending a lot of time at the pool lately has given me a bit of a tan. I'm using a pretty strong sunscreen, like 15 or so, so it's been coming on slow. But I am not pleased with my tan lines... so trailer. So I bought this moisturizing lotion that has a little self-tanner in it and I am using it on my tan lined areas. If any of you have indulged in self-tanner, you know that it smells a little weird. Kind of like tanning oil, kind of like oven-cleaner. Not sexy. Actually, I think I smell like cookies with oven-cleaner frosting. I make my female staff employees smell me to tell me if I stink. They all claim they can't smell me. F'ing liars. (and I only make them smell me in un-offensive places, not my bikini-tan-lined areas!) But I was running next to a girl today, and I think she could smell me. Maybe I'm paranoid cuz I was talking about being smelly at the gym yesterday, but I felt like she kept sniffling and looking at me weird. I felt really bad being a smelly weirdo at the gym. Is my vanity over tan lines really worth being a smelly weirdo? I'm not sure which is worse. I guess the smelly thing.

Anwyay, I know I smell cuz El G tells me. HE says the sheets smell funky after I get out of bed. (only when I have this stuff on, not in general!) Today I text messaged him: I'm smelly with fake tanner. He responded: take a shower gross.
He's so good. He tells it to me straight. Gotta love that.

Lick

2006-06-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

How gross is my profile photo? But it takes a lot of damn work to load that....new photo coming soon.

Cutest Minister EVER

2006-06-12T20:14:00.000-07:00

Minister Dougie

He was off-duty this weekend. So freakin' cute!

This weekend

2006-06-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

El G, Me, Marnie and Gabe!

Experience has made me rich...

2006-06-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

Damn, a girls feet hurt after a Madonna night! Those cheap-ass yellow pumps kicked my ass. My wrists are tore up from passing out with all my jelly bracelets on, and my face is scratched up from rubbing my face (while I was dancing in my sleep with my lace gloves on...."time goes by.... so slowly...." with my hands rolling) I have to say leggins and my off-one-shoulder dance top and the stretchy skirt were actually pretty damn comfortable though. I may never go back to normal clothes, I just may wear Madonna gear for life. I'm that big of a fan (again!)

OK, so it was at the Glendale Arena. (cow pastures in the middle of BFE). I actually patronized an abandoned outhouse on the walk in from the parking lot cuz it was f*cking far and I was full of my canned elixir. SOFIA Several of those sweet babies readied me for the big night, but I was about to burst... I really can't believe i went in that thing. Oh well, the pumps were so high, hovering was easy as pie!

My fave thing about the original BOY TOY is that she loves the F-Bomb! And i love her for it. Makes me so f8cking happy when she says it. I'm not even going to attempt a detailed description of the show itself. She rocks, her body kicks ass, I think she's f8cking beautiful, I was in awe to be in the same arena as her, and she can dance her itty-bitty rock-hard ass off. It was good entertainment and I am such a cheeseball fan of all of her gimicky politics and twisted feminism. But whatever. LOVE HER. LOVE HER.

Taxi ride home from that BFE arena was like $80! Retarded. And the tools that they have working the concession stands are bonafide mentally-challenged. It was horrible to try and get a drink. And that stupid b*itch who tried to fight Tiff, well, screw her. Fea! Glendale-originating ugly bitch. Tiff should have worked that hand-rolling move right into that idiot's face. But enough of the negatives.

It was awesome and I'd spend even more to do it again. Wish you all could have been there. Especially those of you who have tolerated my Madonna worshipping for so long! XOXO

Baby Got Back

2006-06-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

SO I had planned to try out Yoga with Foxxxy tonight, but got caught up. Ended up at my gym and ventured into spin class. Now, i've done it before....but this time I was all energized, and went at it way too hard. Can I tell you how I was seeing spots and my backside is dying? The instructor was awesome. I hope I can walk tomorrow! You know I have some extra back there that should have helped, but not so much.

Not doing that again. I'd rather run. Or stairmaster. My ass will never forgive me.

I wish I didn't have to honor this promise!

2006-06-04T20:56:00.000-07:00

My god! THE FUNNIEST thing in the f'ing world happened today. I witnessed it and lost my shit. Crying. I can't even think about it without cracking up. But the person who it happened to is horrified. HORRIFIED. Made me swear up and down not to tell. On my life. On everything. So, all I can do is tell you that something happened that will make me smile for a year! I wish there were another witness. If ever I make a movie, this is going to be in it. Without a doubt.

If you guess, I may wink at ya.

4 days to Madonna and other ramblings

2006-06-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I'd like to not be such a spaz fan over this... but I can't freakin' wait. Holy SH8t I am excited. All I have to do is buy my champagne first!

Silly Mo was supposed to go but instead she went on some month long European vacation. Whatever! So, instead C gets to come and do this! More later!

At this moment, I am locked out of my room. I wish i had an explanation, but let it just be known, that I am an idiot and have to wait till someone can bust the lock. There's no one in there, I just master-minded locking myself OUT of my own room. So now I ramble.

Next weekend, we are headed to Nogie (Nogales, Arizona) again for a wedding. A huge wedding. Friday night we are taking a party bus across the line to an all u can drink place! What???? The wedding itself is on Saturday. Dougie the minister is going to be there and the fun twins! (see KNOWS IT ALL"S GUIDE TO PERFECT HH)

seriously, I was going to take it easy on the drunkfests this summer. But I guess I gotta be me. Actually, after this, I am thinking of holding out till my birthday! Hold your collective breath.

Brewfest is also fast approaching. THank God. I think Summer in AZ is like the winter blues. Ihave to have a lot of festivities planned or I go insane. I mean, today it was 111 degrees! What can you do in that heat? I just lounge in my pool. Plan weekends away, dinner parties, happy hours, spa days, anything to stay sort of happy. But at least I'm not going to Bar Study like Brother-in-Law. Poor little grumpy thing. I bought him a pie. :) Well, really I bought it for the Pastors who came to dinner Saturday, but after two pitchers of sangria, we forgot about it. So I told BIL that I bought it for him. I rule.

If you haven't discovered this.....

2006-05-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

You are so missing out! Get out!
FUSE PANTS OFF DANCE CONTEST

Feeling the Love

2006-05-28T10:40:00.000-07:00

Digging on my new girlfriend Foxxxy.

FOXXXY

Love this girl.
I've only known her for a while, but she rules. Last night, I went out and had way too much wine with her and Indiana. Lucky for me, I have to work this morning...(Sunday of a Holiday weekend! WHat???) and my head is killing me. At least there is a couch in my office.

She has a blog too. REAL FOXXXY LOVE

Just Stop

2006-05-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

Alright dude. I get it. YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW. Guess what? i got things to do. You can call my cell phone. Then my blackberry. Then my office phone. Then my cell phone. Then my blackberry. Then my office phone. You know what that is? it's called being ignored. Your drama just is not my priority today. Seriously, I could care less. Why do some men think that their sh*t is all you should care about? Enough.

Oh....and now the email. which you know I get on my blackberry.
"What's up? Where are you? Why aren't you answering your phone? I need to talk to you about this please. When can you call me?"

LOSER. i hate whiny b*tches. I know I am kinda being one right now... but good lord. Back up off me. I'm so not giving a sh*t about your petty drama.

Nice... I just ranted. But at least I didn't go off on this man. I need to be professional. Cuz that's how I am, right? Whatever.

Keeping it together

2006-05-23T10:26:00.000-07:00

Coming back to work is always hard after being away. I am trying to better this time.

So, last week, I flew home to be with mom for her breast cancer surgery. She opted to have a mastectomy with the full removal of her left breast. It was hard and I think we are all a little traumatized. In any case, the good news was that there was no cancer to be found in the lymphnodes. We will know more about her treatment plan tomorrow when she meets with some of her doctors.

Dad seemed relatively good. He is clearly using, but seemed stable enough. I didn’t spend much time there as I was trying to be with mom for the most part. It was really hard. I felt sick and nervous and on edge the entire time. It’s very hard to see my mom vulnerable like that. And I worry that Bren is worrying. In the end, it went really well and I am so lucky that I got to be there.

Anyway, I flew home Wednesday and left Thursday morning to go to DC with the DP Club. It was so out of control fun that I really needed. I learned that DC is really full of ugly people. Wow. That’s kind of mean, but it was really rare to see anyone attractive.

We ate a ton, drank way too much, danced our old asses all over town, and acted like fools. Scared some doctors, molested some youngsters, met a D_list celebrity, had wine at George Washington’s plantation, compared waxing experiences, and got thrown out of bars. In between the craziness, we talked and bonded and those girls helped me deal with so much. I’ve been in an emotional whirlwind and dealing with it in ....bad???.... ways.

Finally got to talk to Lu for a long time Sunday and she helped sort me out too. Goodness, I want to do the right things. But I feel crazy. I will be strong and good and keep my life in order. I will. Thanks for all your support and keeping me grounded and safe girls. You rule.

KnowsItAll's Guide to the Perfect Happy Hour

2006-04-29T08:56:00.000-07:00

First, it helps if you are eating very little overall. One of my favorite tactics is to go to a place where you know you hate the food. Why waste the calories on the food? PLus there's more power to the punch if you have an empty stomach. This is why I prefer sushi. Since I won't eat it...there's no risk that I am going to cheat on my diet or fill-up on food.

If you can, go for a full brazilian wax the day of the Happy Hour. It makes you nervous and tense and a little on edge, which leaves you prime for a good drunk. When the wax artist is all up in your businesss, you can start your thoughts of how a few glasses of your favorite drink will let you forget how she is molesting your parts and ripping you to shreds.

The best Happy Hours are at the end of a crap week. WHen you are feeling bored and uninspired and in need of some excitement. Good shit always goes down when you are in that state.

Who attends the Happy Hour is critical. You need someone to toss shit too... I always prefer some fresh meat too. People I have never met before and who haven't heard all my stupid gross jokes before. I like to think I'm funny, so people who have heard all my stuff before aren't as fun for me.

Once you are in full swing, it will really impress your husband if after only three glasses of wine, you are completely out of control drunk. No sophistication about it at all. Staggering around, telling everyone about your hot gay employee for no apparent reason, and loud-talking about absolute nothing. Well, unless you consider the brazilian. Everyone wants to hear about your personal grooming, right? Oh, and you can drunk text people bizarre messages that basically just scare them. Good times.

Happy Hour rules because it's all said and done within a few hours. If it was a good one, you'll know by the way all the people in line for the bathroom stare at you with concern. Some will even ask if you need some water. It's fun to tell them to fuck off.

On the ride home, your husband will be so impressed again when you make him pull over behind Safeway so you can puke standing straight up. If you cry while you do it, he'll love you even more. He won't even get that mad when you strip off your puke-splattered jeans since they are rubbing the raw sections that are in recovery from being waxed. He'll not be upset at all as you roll home in the front seat of the car with it completely reclined in your underwear.

If you make it up the two flights of stairs without your brother-in-law having to see you in your panties, you are in great shape. Your husband will be happy that he has the bed to himself tonite while you cuddle up to the toilet bowl. He'll hold your hair for your last round of puking. Happy Hour over.

The intervention

2006-04-01T06:51:00.000-08:00

Okay world. I get it. No matter what I wanted or said I hoped for, not all things are controlled by yours truly. Granted, certain actions always leave certain results as possibilities, however, I have chosen to pretend that those possibilites could not enter my world. Why can't I choose to not take preventive measures on occassion and not end up .....(GULP)....pregnant?

Anyway, I thought I was PMSing a few weeks back, but nothing ever developed. I tend to have a long time in between cycles, so I was not worried. But this week, I have been so tired and then hitting the toilet a few times a day to vomit. For no known reason. I was blaming fumes in my building. But then yesterday I realized that I was at 43 days. So I took a test.

And that freaked me out. So I went to the Indian Hospital ER. Sho Nuff!

Forces beyond my control have intervened in my life plan. And El Guapo's. He's always been my Alpha Male. But he looks like a a deer in headlights. After hours and hours of talking it out last night... he is settling down. It's funny, since just two nights ago we were on our usual rant about living child-free.

I have always said that it is bad luck to announce this before a certain date as it is bad luck, but as I am in utter shock, it'a ll that is on my mind this morning.

A baby is coming!!! Oh my God! It means so many things. But I have already decided to view it as our blessed path. A baby! Pregnant. Whoa! It's scary, but really...so exciting. I think I will hold out on telling my parents, since it would be devastating to them if they were to be excited and then find out that it wasn't happening. Better to wait for a few weeks.

This could change everything. Money, health, lifestyle...our marriage. My life. But as it has been done in all of time with all of people, I know it will only be amazing and beautiful and make us complete.

Holy Moly. Is it too early to register at baby stores?

Hang on to the vine

2006-03-23T18:32:00.000-08:00

I don't wish to be negative. I don't wish to be a lazy good-for-nothing. But damn me to hell, I cannot get to the gym, pick up my clothes, go to the drycleaner, run the dishes, or even sort through my thoughts. I'm just TIRED.

I've been at this thing. They call it a "fusion" and it's intense. The tribe hired some consultants to come and work us to death so we could put together a request for companies to come and give us a computer system. But you have to be there at 8, eat breakfast lunch and sometimes dinner with this group, and just just talk and think, and problem-solve non-stop. It is so draining. I am exhausted.

It's been painful. No joking around. It's all business. And anyone who knows me knows I need a break now and then. So I am going to bed. To watch crap tv. Don't even think about bothering me tonight.

That means you crazy ass uncle who is on the verge of being commmitted to amental hospital. I can't deal with you and your crying right now. I'm just a bad person. But seriously...I do not have any patience. Try not to do anything nuts.

Not Usually a Martini Girl

2006-03-19T07:48:00.000-08:00

But I LOVE Pink Martini!

LOVE them. Listen to it all the time.

I can find nothing I like better. Not on Itunes though.

Take a listen.

PINK MARTINI

My Inner Bert

2006-03-19T07:18:00.000-08:00

There was an old standard routine between Bert and Ernie when it came to getting ready for bed. Bert wanted quiet and peace to sleep. Ernie had sniffles, etc. Drinks of water. Etc. Well, sometimes I'm Bert. Sometimes, I'm Ernie.

BERT CAN'T SLEEP

Usually El Guapo insists on watching tv at bedtime. So I fall asleep listtening to Jim Rome, Tony Cornheiser and other random voices of ESPN. If that fails, then I am usually hearing Frodo and Friends on some loud and scary adventure. I'm used to that. I'm even used to my porno neighbors. Even if she is REALLY pregnant and they have alot of dirty exchanges. Loudly. I'm used to that now. Usually, I stillhave to crack a smile. Or I'll whisper to El Guapo my shock.

I have learned to accept the way Brother-In-Law slams all doors and pounds down stairs. Washer and Dryer doors. TOilet seats. He does not know how to do anything softly. It still wakes me, but I can go back to sleep.

One of my neighbors has a duck. It quacks randomly. Freaks me out. In the nearby neighborhood, there lives a rooster who does his duty, and wakes me. But as that is part of city-living and nature's law, I'm not too pissed. Mind you, why anyone has a duck for pet and puts them on the porch is beyond me.

But the latest thing is driving me insane. We have hard-wired smoke detectors. They use electric power and not batteries. For the last few months, the one in BIL's bedroom has been sporaditically screeching with warning chirps. "Chirp" is such a misleading term. "Chirp" sounds slight or subtle. This is a high-pitched piercing chirp. ANd it's loud.

WE turn on the loud a/c for the white noise. The bathroom fan too. Pillows on my head. CHIRP. CHIRP. Every 2 minutes. It never strikes during times that the maintenance people are on duty. No....only at 2 .m. on a Sunday. So, it always seems to right itself, and we fail to have them come over.

Internet research reveals that the filter is likely dusty or blocked. It was happening more when BIL would leave his window open, and since we live in the dry desert, that made sense. So he stopped. Well, apparently, there are more things to annoy the damn thing.

I was looking forward to sleeping in today. Had a nice dinner and wine with friends, new sheets, El Guapo is home from Vegas. No chores today. It's raining. BIL is out of town. It was set for a perfect sleep.

And then the mother F8cking CHIRP. At 4 a.m. It's now 9 a.m. and I have been up for 5 hours. REady to kill someone. I've pulled it out of the wall. There is no obvious way to shut the thing up. If I had a shotgun....oh yes, I would. It really frustrates me that El Guapo sleeps right through it! Well, at least he can sleep. If he couldn't, he'd be a bear.

Well, at least there's the sound and smell of desert rain to soothe my anger. Hot tea. Jazz. So maybe I am sleep-deprived, but it's still a good morning. With the doors and windows open, the rain on the street and the thunder ALMOST drown out the CHIRP.

Do you ever have a million things you want to write about?

2006-03-14T18:27:00.000-08:00

And then, are just too tired to sit and do it?

I do. Like after a day of fighting with your staff, and working out, and helping El Guapo pack for his Vegas trip...I just want to take a shower and watch the Amazing Race.

But he'll be gone for 3 days. And I'll have the house to myself, when I'm not off getting drunk, and I'll write about morality and lottery winnings, and genitalia, (Because MAHD has me thinking) and SEX and my thoughts after KINSEY the movie, and Pink Martini and my addiction, and my travel dilemmas! And the housecleaner that I now employ! Oh yeah, there are things you all need to hear about. Coming at ya in two days!

In the interim, should you be bored and looking for some things to read about or distract your self with

The VAGINA Diaologues

I have been waiting for someone to write about this.

Keeping up with HoJew

2006-02-24T18:44:00.000-08:00

Ah, the life and times of an intermittent blogger. I love to blog. Vent about my life, read about others. I enjoy "knowing" people all over that have all kinds of stuff going on. These people's blogs are a part of my routine and that's a little weird, but I need that escapism.

Usually, at the end of a day, I tell my husband about my day. ALl the stupid work stories, the gossip among my friends, family drama, and every other detail of my life. He pretends to care, as he is a good husband. But his ears always perk up when I am talking about something from blogger-land. (probably as he is bored to TEARS with the lame details of my repetitive "real" life) Lately, the terms "Flispy" and "HoJew" are his favorites. It all started when I discovered Flipsy's blog, and then told him about her blog, and then about her partner HoJew. Then I told him when HoJew was asked to be in a movie as Jesus. He was legitimately entertained by that story. He was also very amused by HoJew and Flipsy's recent photo-of-a-New-York-Cop-Capade.

But that got him to thinking: If I am reading some person's life details via internet, and know all this about them, and therefore he knows all this stuff...then are there people out there that hear random "J" stories? And what exactly am I sharing? Do I make him look cool? Am I telling all the "good ones"? But most importantly, why is he known simply as "J"? BORING!!! Why can't be known in a memorable way like HoJew? (Shoo, do you ever think of renaming Jeff? ;))

I explained that he was fiance, but that was a little weird after the wedding... so he was transistioned to J. He was flabbergasted. TO him, he should have been referred to all along by his own alias. The name he uses in all football pools and any other time some goofy name is needed. Why did I not use that?

Fair enough. Therefore, I hereby "christen" J...are you ready for this? I am shaking a bottle of MirrorPond to break over his head for full effect---- drum roll....

Bloggers....meet El Guapo!!!

This is him on honeymoon! Be careful what you wish for El Guapo.

Cactus Juice? Would mom like some?

2006-02-19T16:23:00.000-08:00

OK, my last few posts have been a little blue. No one should be too surprised to learn that it's plainly related to a certain feminine plague. Thanks for the support, and I am glad I have this forum to sort through some of that heavy depressive stuff.

Today is Sunday. I just woke from a nap, and am chilling here with a Mirror Pond and listening to some Sade. I have been surfing the net to find what I should send my mom for her one-month-overdue 50th-birthday gift. I suck. But it's really hard, since I want it be special, but I can't seem to afford special enough. Kid Sis is having a birthday too, and that warrants a gift. we have three babies of friends on the way that need gifts. I owe J a Valentine's gift, and I owe a bunch more. I really am not a selfish person, just painfully non-committal, and eternally broke as a joke these days. I should learn to knit. Or macrame.

So we went to Nogales yesterday. Had dinner with the IN-Laws at our favorite place. It's on the "otherside", meaning just on the other side of the Mexican Border. My father-in-law Luis, knows everyone there. It's an amazing restaurant on a backstreet, next to some grimy strip clubs, but it's built into a cave with amazing decoration and artwork. We just hung out with them and then went to our hotel and chilled. I am reading a very good book, so I must have passed four hours of yesterday asborbed. It's called the Dive from Claussen's Pier. I love it. It's a little sad, but so thought-provoking. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship becuase you care for a person, and not because you are in romantic love would relate. There's so much more to the book, but I love it. I just hope I don't hate the ending.

We went to Mama Lucia's this morning. She rattles on and on to me in Spansih as if I get it. But to assist, she tends to act everything out. Today it was the miracle of cactus water. She was very excitedly telling me that Tia Socorro was having pains. I caught terms like "muy malo" and she was gripping her back and sort of wincing. She stood up and kinda hunched over and took odd little mini-steps, gripping her back. I get it. (I think Mama Lucia would be a good teammate on Amazing Race, since the language barrier is not a challenge to her with her charade skills!) Anyway, she was telling us that she told her to have some "agua de cholla". She said that like forty times. And then, her eyes bright with pleasure, and a huge grin the story wraps up, with her hands in the air and something to the effect of "All better". She brings out these two gross dried out pieces of cactus. Hold them out in her hand. THen goes and gets an old gatorade bottle which looks like a urine sample. She pours me and J cups. There is attempts at saying no. We lose. We drink. Tasted like cactus water.

J filled me in on the gaps. Apparently Tia Socorro does not like to drink water, so her kidneys were aching. Mama Lucia made her drink a gallon of cactus water a day for three days. Tada! Miracle Cure. Not that Tia just needed water and it was the water alone....but I digress.

Mama Lucia is so cute. She's like 4 foot 9, and solid. She wears aprons all the time, and is always cooking. Always. If there is not a pot boiling or tortillas rolling, she is miserable. If and when the end of civilization as we know it comes upon us, I am following Mama Lucia. She'll sort it all out. All she needs is fire, water, and what comes from the earth. I love that she calls me "mija".

Something about going to J's home, makes me feel less homesick and more homesick at the same time. Like, i love knowing I have new family that love and accept me, gringa or not. But also, the family feel, the love, the familiarity that they have, makes me want to go home so bad. I want to be on my dad's couch, or my mom's. I miss my grandmas. My sister. My Lu. Just being. Without thoughts and plans and politeness, just being like you can be when you are home.

By the way, I have a bunch of half-finsihed "real" posts. I just haven't had the privacy to finish them. This book inspired me to write about some stuff. I would love to know if anyone else has read this book and what they thought.

OK, I'm off to get into my bed again with some oreos. They are the cactus juice for cramps! :) Sorry MAHD...and any other male readers who are just not interested in that whole phenom.

Is it just me?

2006-02-06T15:59:00.000-08:00

Or is that story about a face transplant creepy? I'm glad the lady is happy, and that science is progressing, but it creeps me out? ANd besides, I swear that that stuff has been happening on Days of Our Lives for decades.

MEME--- generally a sin, but what the hell?

2006-02-06T15:48:00.000-08:00

Five jobs I’ve had
1. Working for the County Prosecutor's Office
2. I was a teller as US BANK
3. I worked at Dairy Queen
4. Nickelodeon (intern)
5. Will Vinton Animation Studios

Five movies I can watch over and over
What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Weekend at Bernie's
Lord of the Rings (all three)

Four places I have lived
Portland, Or
Phoenix Arizona
Orlando Florida
Tacoma Washington

Four TV shows I love
LOST
What Not To Wear
Deadwood
Arrested Development

Four places I’ve vacationed
NYC
Paris
Cancun
St Johns
Bahamas

Four of my favorite meals....ok FIVE!
1. Chicken Panini Sandwich with Sweet Potato Fries (from Delux)
2. Steak and Potatoes....preferrably garlic and mashed and a expensive juicy steak from a real steak house!
3. Banana Pancake and Bacon
4. Mu Shu StirFry
5. Turkey Raspberry CHipotle Wrap with Tomato Soup from Paradise. (I know it sounds horrible, but it works!)

Four sites I visit daily
www.oregonlive.com
www.luwannafaye.blogspot.com
www.hotmail.com
www.bankofamerica.com

Four places I would rather be right now
Delux, having favorite meal and a BridgePort IPA
At my dad's, laying around
In a fancy hotel, heading to a spa
A bathtub with bubbles and candles

What I did today...
Ate a burrito in my car
Bawled out my staff
Winked at a guy
hated work
used my new dishes

You gonna eat that?

2006-02-01T05:40:00.000-08:00

Friday night, after work, me and J went on date-night. I was craving a Bloomin' Onion and so I requested OUtback and a movie. I compromised on the steak since Saturday was REAL date night, since we were going to a fabulous Steak house here in Phoenix for his birthday Saturday night.

I get there first since we were meeting, and get a table. Being happy hour for another 15 minutes, wine was two-for-one. So I ordered 4. Two for me, two for him. I also ordered the Bloomin'Onion. BY the time J arrived, I had devoured half of it and was surrounded by a lot of small wine glasses, but at least 3 of them were still full of wine. It was a long week, so I totally didn't care how it looked. He was amused.

So we had some dinner and our two glasses of wine each and we went to a movie. Two glasses of wine gets me a little goofy. He uses the restroom while I get in the candy line. We need some Junior Mints and a Soda. I didn't realize it, but I think I was standing way too close to the guy in front of me. I think I didn't want anyone to cut me or something.

I watch him order a large popcorn. THe acne-faced teenager with long hair goes to get it. I don't know if it is me, or the wine, or what, but it seemed like that kid was moving in slow motion. I am staring at him as he scoops up the popcorn. And then, swiftly, like lightening-fast, he pops a couple pieces of popcorn into his mouth, before bringing it back to the guy who just bought it.

Man: "Did you just eat some of my popcorn?"

Kid: "No."

Man: "I saw you eat some of my popcorn."

Kid: "I didn't."

Man: "I saw you reahc into this bag of popcorn and eat some. Look! You're still chewing it."

Kid, eyebrows raised: "I took this popcorn from the machine. I ate it out of the machine."

The man turns around to face those of us in line, but since I am so close to him, he crashes into me. He gets flustered. I stand there wide-eyed, and some stupid perma-grin on my face.

Man, to me: "Did you see that? He ate some of my popcorn."

I just nod like a moron.

The kid rolls his eyes.

Man: "Just get me a fresh bag. And don't touch it."

Kid complies.

As the man is paying, his date and J are both getting back to the line. The man tells his date that this is the weirdest movie theatre in the world. EVERYONE is freaking weird. I know he means me too. Yet, I can't get this stupid perma-grin off my face. J is staring at me like I am a freaking lunatic.

We get to the counter. The kid now finds me his confidante.

Kid: "I don't know why I did that."

Me: "What? Well, yeah, you probably shouldn't do that."

Kid: "Right on."

The rest of the transaction goes normally. The kid does what he needs to do, but he looks shamed the entire time.

When we get to our seats, I tell J the whole story. I think it's hilarious.

J then educates me.

"That kid is stoned out of his gourd, you can see it."

aha!

That doesn't explain me being a weirdo, but it does shed some light on the kid's behavior. What do you expect from a teen at the snack counter?

So let your Soul Glow!

2006-01-12T13:50:00.000-08:00

I just came from the tanning salon. Oh. My. God. If you have seen "Something About Mary" you may recall Magda. Well, holy shit, I just saw her kin. This lady with carrot colored hair, is standing there at the counter in a yellow stretchy body suit, that is terry-cloth and is shorts and not long pants, and she was nuclear orange. SHe looked at me, and the whites of her eyes scared me against that skin. It should be criminal to allow a person to cook to that level. She made me want to walk right out. But, I need a little Soul Glo for the wedding. I live in Arizona for god's sake and I am pastier than I ever was as an Oregonian. No worries, I'm a cantaloupe color now....not a pumpkin.

Get me to the Church! Get me to the Church!

2006-01-10T18:12:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's a garden, but the same thing.
Wedding week. Dudes... this is a little nuts. I mean, I am mostly organized but there are still things I am worried about.

1. Minister has not recieved the written ceremony yet. I emailed it to him again. He is more nervous than we are.

2. How much liquor is enough to sufficiently booze up our friends and family? I mean, it looks like a lot of booze, but these people care nothing for their livers.

3. AM I going to ball my eyes out the enitre time? If so, why? In addition to the fact that is seems pretty clear I'm going to be in FULL ON PMS mode. Shit.

4. How many people are going to annoy me? Because, clearly, a few will.

5. AM I going to be able to sleep at all between now and then, because my mind is racing and I just want it to happen!

Oh well, it's going to be here in a few days and then it will be over. Over. Wow.
What a year.

If you don't hear from me again, I'll be back. I'm off eating pancakes in Solvang, and drinking at the Madonna Inn. Peace!

Feliz Navidad KnowsItAll!

2005-12-26T14:47:00.000-08:00

Christmas 2005 will be remembered as my first Christmas with my in-Laws, the year we were up to our eyeballs in wedding planning, and J's brother and his wife were expecting the first grandbaby. It was SO HARD to not be at home with my family, but my new family are really fun and welcoming, so it could have been worse.

We drove to Nogales on Saturday morning. Luckily, the mail came first and delivered J a spice rack from my mom. I love that she buys him kitchen gear for every gift. We drove to Nogales and were met by his mom who had made a table full of desserts. Yes, that wedding dress may have to be let out a bit. My mother-in-law is a goddess of all things sweet. Her specialties are lemon squares and flan. I ate brownies, and fudge, and lemon squares. Oh good lord! But then there was machaca, homemade beans, fresh hot tortillas, and rice. Keep it comin'!

We went and visited J's god-daughter and her family. They literally have a 14 foot Christmas tree. It's as big as ones in the mall. It's kind of crazy. They gave me fuzzy pajamas, and little Victoria, who speaks a mix of Spanish, English, and Jibberish, danced and danced. She yells "baila" and wiggles around. This year she broke her leg, so she is barely out of her cast and she is loving every minute of her mobility. I love that her Spanish and mine are so compatible.

Then we went to Christmas Eve festivities. J's mom and grandma, and a bunch of other relatives proceeded to drink themselves silly. There were shots and shots of tequila. AT midnight, those who could stand went to Church. Me and J went to the room and to bed, since we had more visiting to do in the a.m. J's mom drank herself sick and had a monster hangover yesterday.

Christmas morning was pancake room service. Since it was Christmas, we splurged on room service and I realize that room service is so worth the money. I loved it. Even if only a few hours earlier I had puked from all the extra spicy foods....at 5 a.m. Christmas morning, I was on the floor of the "Esplendor" Resort purging all that Christmas goodness.

Next we went to Mama Lucia's. J's grandma's. Before we even sat down, plates of food were served up. Tamales, potatoes and menudo. I did not eat menudo. I will not eat it with a fox, I will not eat it in a box. She was understanding. Gringos rarely go for the spicy soup made with tripe (stomach intestine).

From there, back to J's moms where I had treats. ANd more treats. I got some gifts, and then we went to dinner. Turker, ham, the whole works. And then cakes and pies, and flan. I love Mexican Christmas. At this dinner, there were 22 kids, and a total of 54 people. But it was really nice.

There was no drama, it was all peaceful and nice. I really envy a family that can do that. I am grateful I can be joining one.

We came home with Mama Lucia's tamales, and mom's lemon squares and fudge. It's very hard to keep myself under control here.

I missed my family so much though. Oh well, 19 days to their arrival for the big day! I am hopeful that this next year will be as good as this one was.

Hope all of you had a wonderful holiday!

A few not so bad things about a sick day

2005-12-16T13:46:00.000-08:00

1) Eating McDonald's Two Cheesegurger meal guilt-free since it's the only caloric intake in two days! McDonald's rules. I rarely eat it. But it feels like comfort food to me.

2) Hours and hours of Changing Rooms, Ellen, Oprah, and What Not To Wear.

3) Getting paid for not being at work (legitimately!)

4) No whiny employees moaning and groaning about bullsh*t.

5) Naps. So underappreciated in daily life.

6) Wearing my tired-ass J-Lo velour jumpsuit to the mall to pick up J's ring.

Miss Pukes It All

2005-12-15T10:04:00.000-08:00

I'm down for the count. I have no idea why, and I kind of can't talk about it, since it will send me racing to my new sleeping spot next the the freezing toilet. Well, "lying there feeling comatose, but not actually sleeping" spot.

Yesterday at work I felt a little warm. I had an hour before a meeting so I laid on my couch and rested. Then my stomach rumbled, I thought I was hungry. I decided to ignore it. I went to a meeting at 5 where they served fruit and veggies and little sandwiches. I had a small plate and then my stomach really got pissed.

I left at 8 and drove home. I barely made it, as I raced up the stairs and lost my lunch. It was horrendous. All night long, and I couldn't even have water. I was blackingout and sweating. ( and crying since puking scares the daylights out of me). Slept maybe 40 minutes.

So I am camped out in bed, trying to not move my stomach. J went to the stoore and bought me popsicles which 3 of which have stayed down and now I just want to sleep.
Of course, my stupid brother-in-law-to-be comes home and is whistling, stomping up stairs, banging pots around, cooking chorizo, (of all the smelly and disgusting things!) and just generally bugging me. THe little dog next door has yapped for two hours straight, he is clearly stuck in the bedroom next to where I am!

Can popcorn that has a few overdone pops in it give you food poisoning? I don't really care what caused it, I am just begging my cramped up stomach for mercy. I feel loads better already, so I will live. I just need a big fat nap and a dozen more popsicles. You know how they ask you what makes you the most sick thinking about whenyou are sick, well for me it's burned popcorn that I attempted to eat around!

By the way, being like this reminds me of how sick Lu was once, and it has inspired me to keep drinking water, no matter what. And TallandLovely, I am really sorry for the "snapping on of the rubber gloves" thing in New Orleans. I just didn't get it!

This disgusting story brought to you by SmartPop Kettle Korn, the alleged culprit!

She'd been drinking too much Eggnog....

2005-12-12T19:11:00.000-08:00

J's mom and grandma were here this weekend. The female representation of my fiance's past. Grandma Joan is clearly a Matriarch. She had a ton of kids. She was a nurse in San Fran way back when, met Oscar (who was in med school), got pregnant, and then they married. She went with him to Nogales, Mexico where he practiced medicine. She is as white as they come. How hard that must of been. SHe had a son, then she had twins, then she had triplets. Long Story Short: Grandma Joan is tired of everything and a bit grumpy.

She talks like a Drill Seargant. Everything is said like a command. Half the time coupled with a hand signal, whether it be a pointing finger, a fist shaking, a slicing of the air with her firm saluted palm, or a dismissive flapping hand.

She leaves nothing unsaid. If she thinks J's hair looks stupid, she tells him. If she thinks he would have passed the bar on the first time had he only studied more, she tells him. My favorite was her annoyance with his failure to want to be a Supreme Court Clerk.

Compliments are not Grandma's style. Unless it is self-given. FOr instance, I was not aware that she was a "wonderful Catholic." But she told me. I also didn't know that her genes were obviously good, since none of her kids have any major illnesses.

She is chronically disappointed in her lot. She recently watched a granddaughter play college basketball. "What a disappointment that was!" And the nerve of that child to have any fat on her. Poor Grandma.

We were waiting for our table at the restaurant. Another party nearby had a similar sounding name. The hostess called their name, since they were first on the list.

"WHAT!!!? Why the hell do they get to sit? Look at them, they're fat, they don't even need to eat!"

Once we were seated, a man passing by bumped our table. She flung around in her seat and called him an idiot. He was very gracious.

Grandma asked me is a special cajun pasta was "really hot". SInce it is not, I told her no. Of course, she ordered it and then gave me hell when it burned her lips.

Then Grandma finished her second double tall Vodka Tonic, and began to hit on the waitstaff. She told one that he had a nice package. Invited the other one home with her. She said the bark is as good as the bite.

She gives good advice though. She said I should not eat so fast, I'll get fat. And when we were shopping for my sister-in-law-to-be, in a Maternity store, Grandma made me model my backside to the salesgirl, so they could get an idea of how much the other girl is going to grow. Grandma recommends I buy some sale stuff now, off the rack, and I could probably wear it before I get pregnant.

For those of you who know me, you know I have a smart mouth. But I respect my elders. I can take a lot of Shit. A lot. But this woman challenges me. My tongue is bloodied from the biting.

Tday, I have listened to "Grandma got ran over by a Reindeer" 50 times.
This is my passive aggressive tactic to deal. Yeesh!

Check out Lu's site

2005-12-03T17:54:00.000-08:00

LUWANNA FAYE

Great photos from her wedding and a hilarious post about the Rock Opera she went to. See also TRANS-SIBERIAN

Ha Ha, Very Funny

2005-11-28T13:30:00.000-08:00

To send me random text from an unknown address that reads simply the name of my high school crush. Hilarious. Fess up!

Fore!

2005-11-18T06:06:00.000-08:00

Well, just home from another week away. But at least it was P-town and I got to see my fam. More on all that later, this morning I am pre-occupied. Yesterday afternoon when I got home from the airport, I had to rush out to my work for a meeting with Tribal Council. Since I work for a tribe, it's not a bunch of wanna-be millionaires with torches and Jeff Probst, it's literally a tribe, and a tribal council. Anyway, I was tired and grumpy and PMS'y (so paranoid and sensitive) and the meeting was stupid and annoying.

Afterwards, I got into bed with TIVO and was trying to chill and shake off my allergies that Portland gave me, when my work cell phone was lighting up. I thought it was a wrong number since no number was registering, and the caller called like 3 times in a row. Then my personal cell lit up, and so I answered. It was 9 pm, and it was my boss.

Mind you, I have been gone a week and a million things are overdue, and we have a big meeting today that I am generally the main source, and I am not ready for, so I was a little nervous. She was with the President, the Vice President, and the other Big Wigs and she tells me that they need me to golf with them today at 11:30. I tell her that I am no good and that I don't have clubs, and she just laughs and says don't worry about it. She tells me that she knows we have that big meeting today, but maybe I should golf and let the Chief Judge worry about it.

UGH! I hate golf. I hate it. I at least learned to play once. But, crap. Why me? I think this is weird way to fire someone. They don't promote or transfer people like this. SO this may just be that they had an open spot, but again, why me, with no rep for liking golf?

What do I wear? Believe it or not, I wish I had Lu's wardrobe right now! Remember this

What goes up must come down.

2005-11-08T16:58:00.000-08:00

Right now, I should be putting on my gym clothes and heading to the gym. But I feel kind of like I am zoning. I just want to lay around and stare at stuff. I'm too wiped out to do anything. But I ate my fair share of candy today so I must get going.

Today's Food Intake:
2 Whole Grain Eggos, with light syrup.
Coffee with Splenda.
Pumpkin Spice Latte, Grande Nonfat
1 Reeses Peanut Butter Cup
Mu Shu Grill Kung Pao CHicken StirFry with Brown Rice
2 Diet Cokes
Chocolate Eyeball with creamy center
4 individual Starburst
2 Laffy Taffy (Smalls)
Pretzels
1/2 Serving Mango Nakes Juice

SO many sugar carbs it's no wonder I am crashing hard right now. Duh. I need to buy some new energy-inspring I-Tunes, and maybe I will be in better mood to go run. Blah.

What's the alternative? Crack open a Fat Tire and veg in front of TV? Tempting indeed, but no... wedding is so close. I need to adjust this eating thing. God, why does candy exist? Everything else was totally forgivable... but all that candy!!!

Well, here goes nothing. I'm going to try..... and go ... to the... gym.

Hey Beck, Phoenix Sucks

2005-10-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

First of all, had you been a reader of my blog, maybe you would have known that already. I was confused from the beginning as to why you chose to play the "State Fair" anyway. Cool to keep it real, and let in a lot of people for virtually free, but so many ghetto-mentality people attended that it really got in the way of those of us who were there to truly enjoy the show.

Your management really should have forbidden the big glowsticks that were given away for free. As projectiles, those things could have taken an eye out. I was so pissed off that so many idiots thought it funny to throw them at you. It's like those people have never done anything in their pathetic lives worth noting, so they need to be noticed.

I was so embarrassed of this place when you were doing a very good show and singing a song beautifully and you get pegged in the guitar with a glowstick. Ridiculous. Cleraly, you have probably been in worse, and it was obvious that the majority of the attendees were there to be respctful and to have fun... but still.

Also, the sound sucked. When the dude was testing it out, it was obvious the feedback was out of control. I kinda thought they would fix that before you got out there, but maybe it was unfixable. Next time you come to Phoenix, please play the Dodge. It's not full of people smoking cigarettes and blowing smoke in may face, and assigned seating is respected there. I had assigned seats last night and some idiot and his date (who had the highest pitch howl i have heard in a long time) squeezed into one seat next to me. Meaning, her white-girl awkward jerking dance style kept jamming me with elbows. I mean, I'm glad she enjoyed the music and I coudl have dealt with her squeezing in, but her flailing was so out of line during the ballod sets. And she gleeks at opportune times, leaving droplets of saliva on me. nice. But that's not your fault...and that could happen at nicer venues.

I loved the set where your band played on glasses of water and other dishes. That was awesome. I also regret that sweaty hog of a girl was selected to help you play the harmonium. I respected that you called her out for being soaking wet with sweat and dissed her attempt to hug you. Saluting was good enough. Classic that she tried to "Sex up" her assistance and your drummer mocked her stupid butt-sway. What an idiot. However, I don't know what I would have done. It seems clear you are down with dorks, and I am too... but she was clearly drunk or high and sweaty. Trying too damn hard.

Anyway, it could have been an awesome show. Love your dancing guy. He rocks. It was the venue and the crowd that got in the way. And you are cute enough that I just want to put you in my pocket and take you home. You could freestyle and dance funky on my coffee table.

Thanks for trying. THis place doesn't deserve it and maybe I don't either for being here and thus a part of it. you shouldn't have to play the swankier venues to give a good show.